


Changing patterns

by MilkyPotus



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn, Falsettos - Lapine/Finn (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Developing Relationship, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, F/M, Finding Family, Good Parent Whizzer Brown, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Referenced racism, Slow Burn, Smut, Trust Issues, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, the 'Whizzer and Cordelia have a past' AU, there will be a lot of smut and mentions of it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:14:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MilkyPotus/pseuds/MilkyPotus
Summary: Charlotte finds herself intrigued by a woman who has never dated girls before. She also finds herself in trouble when she has fallen too deep. Good trouble, but trouble nonetheless. Whizzer finds himself in bad trouble, but decides that maybe, this is what he deserves.
Relationships: Dr. Charlotte/Cordelia (Falsettos), Marvin/Trina (mentioned and heavily implied in the beginning), Trina/Mendel Weisenbachfeld, Whizzer Brown & Cordelia, Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Comments: 26
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. 
> 
> Before you read this fanfiction, I want to make some things clear. This is not a normal AU, as in it is far too developped as an entire other universe with many things changed. Many things that might be canon to a character has also been changed.
> 
> This AU will have three acts and all chapters will be published here.  
> Act 1 is meeting the characters / hearing about them and getting to know more about their pasts. Act 1 is also about the trial, which will be explained in the fic. 
> 
> Act 2 is planned to be entirely about coping with change, finding family and finding oneself. This act will solely be about Charlotte and Cordelia, and it will be the filler chapters that are cute and very possibly smutty. 
> 
> Act 3 is the happy ever after Cordelia and Whizzer have wished for. Act three is also when the second act of the musical starts taking shape and Marvin will slowly become more viable to the plot. 
> 
> I really hope you all enjoy this fanfiction, and please be patient with updates.

Charlotte couldn’t believe her luck when she loses her name tag on the way to the hospital, and she curses herself multiple times for being so careless about somethings so important. It was practically her ID, and the easiest way to show her patient’s that she was in fact their doctor and not just some nurse. Not that she had something against nurses, but she hates it when they keep insisting that she was joking about her profession. That was most certainly very annoying, and often down putting. 

Which is why this is such a big deal for doctor Charlotte DuBois.

She desperately hopes that she would find it outside on the ground when she walks home and that no bastard had picked it up and thrown it away. Or kept it just to fuck with her, even thought that was very unlikely and just a scenario in her over thinking head.

‘’Um- Excuse me?’’ Charlotte blinks and turns around, standing right next to the reception to make a phone call about a late meeting with a patient. She blinks again when she notices a young, bashful blonde leaning her elbows on the counter, obviously staring at her. 

‘’Yes?’’

‘’Are you Doctor Charlotte-’’ She pauses and glances down at, what Charlotte now notices, her ID card. ‘’-DuBois?’’ She asks, pronouncing her last name in a terribly white way. Charlotte smiles widely mostly amused at her nervousness, but also because there was a really pretty blonde leaning against the counter and calling her doctor. ‘’Or is it pronounced Duh-Bo-a-se?’’ She pronounced her last name like ‘’bourgeoisie’’.

This time it is visible that Charlotte cringes at hearing that, and the woman (Charlotte thought she looked older than 18, but still around that age. Perhaps 21?) stands up straighter and brushes her curly hair away from her face. ‘’Oh, I’m sorry if I offended you-‘’

‘’No, not at all’’ Charlotte interrupts and leaves her position by the phone, walking closer to the counter. ‘’I’ve heard worse.’’ She looks her over, trying to read her in any way. Due to her colorful jacket with flowers on and mom jeans, a style used by many ladies in the city, it was hard to make an assumption based on that alone. Charlotte could however tell that she might have a fear of talking to strangers, which is reasonable, since that would explain her nervous behavior-

‘’Oh really?’’ Neither had expected that, since Charlotte leans back a bit impressed at the sudden boldness and the blonde blushes. ‘’Not that I don’t believe you-‘’

‘’De-boys’’ Charlotte states, her head held high with a sly smirk as she places her hands on her hips. The woman stares, then bites her lips as a grin forms and she tries to hold her laughter. It was amusing to hear that, Charlotte had to admit, but she hadn't expected such an exaggerated reaction. Maybe it wasn’t fake and the blonde just thought it was hilarious enough for her nose to scrunch up in such a cute way. ‘’You can laugh.’’

A contemptuous and juvenile giggle escapes her lips, and Charlotte chuckles a bit at her reaction. It was a genuine one too, not something the doctor did to seem polite and friendly. ‘’So, I’m guessing you have something for me?’’ She asks once they both have taken a breath, and the blonde nods. 

‘‘Yeah, your card!’’ She stretches out her entire arm, the white card perched elegantly in between her index and middle finger. Charlotte takes it and sighs in relief when she sees that it wasn’t scratched or dirty. 

‘’Thank you.’’ She breathes out, then looks back at the woman in front of her. ‘’You do not believe the shit my patients would give me without this,’’ gesturing towards the card whilst rolling her eyes at the nightmare. Charlotte smiles at her after and feels the stress from the entire morning disappear, but the woman in front of her did not return it. 

‘’Why?’’ The blonde was genuinely confused, an eyebrow rising and her smile dropping to a line. Charlotte pauses, glancing down at her lips for a second, before gulping and looking away and at the time. She was going to have another appointment in ten minutes, so she should wrap this conversation up before it goes too far. 

‘’I’ll tell you some other time, perhaps over a cup of coffee?’’ She asks, hopefully not too forward when the blonde seemed shocked. Her nerves were eating at her for five seconds before the blonde nods, a bright grin on her face. 

‘’I’d like that very much’’

* * *

‘’Whizzer, WHIZZER!’’ Cordelia yells excitedly as she enters her apartment, bouncing ever so slightly. She closes and locks the door behind her, then walks into the apartment and shrugs her jacket off and puts it messily on the couch's armrest. 

Whizzer, her roommate and so called husband, comes out of his room taking on a light blue polo. He was newly showered and his hair was matted down to his skull, making Cordelia wrinkle her nose at the sight of his usually swaying hair so motionless. Before she can even say anything, he raises a finger and stops her. ‘’What have I said about shoes in the house?’’ He scolds her, and she rolls her head and groans. 

‘’But I had-‘’

‘’No butts, and that’s coming from me. Get them off now’’ He waits for her to walk back to the entrance to begrudgingly kick off her shoes, chuckling quietly to himself when he hears her cursing under her breath the entire way back. ‘’Alright, good. What’s up, Cori?’’ And as if a switch had been flipped, she was just as excited as she was when she had entered her home.

‘’I think I made a new friend today!’’ She exclaims as she takes his hands in hers and drags him to the couch. They both plop down on it and Whizzer watches on amusedly as Cordelia lightly bounces on it in preparation to continue her story. ‘’She wants us to grab some coffee!’’

Whizzer was taken aback when hearing the last part and a sly smirk forms immediately on his face. ‘’Honey, I don’t think you made yourself a ‘friend’’’ he replies and poor, innocent Cordelia blinks at that, not understanding his meaning. 

‘’But we laughed and she invited me out to talk more’’ 

‘’Cori, coffee is always a keyword for ‘I’m interested in you so let me use this elaborate excuse to meet you again without being too forward’, especially for lesbians’’ He answers almost wistfully, leaning back on the couch and stretching his arms over his head. 

Cordelia opens her mouth to protest, but then closes it and has a neutral look on her face. ‘’What makes you think that?’’ She asks slowly, her gaze piercing and making Whizzer raise an eyebrow at her sudden interest. 

Not that it bothered him, but Cordelia had always had an interest in the LGBT community ever since he came out to her a long while back(Over ten years now. Wow, Whizzer was definitely starting to get old). He had sometimes even caught her staring at a woman and commenting over and over again about how cute they were or something along those lines, which made him have his suspicions about her not being the straight person she keeps referring herself as. 

‘’Alright, tell me something about her’’ He tells her, intrigued to know who it was now that had caught Cordelia’s eyes. Not that it happened that often, or that she would blatantly say that it was a girl (in her own way), which made this even more interesting.

‘’She has brown hair almost the same length as mine but longer, but hers looked so soft and-‘’

‘’And so well taken care of that it made you want to run your hands through it?’’ He finished her sentence with a grin, making Cordelia blush and shake her head to try denying something that was very obviously true. ‘’Tell me about how she stood.’’ He crossed his arms, his smirk still displayed as he only needed a few more bits of information to paint a full picture of who this woman was.

‘’Well, she seemed very confident in her stance, and she had her hands on her hip?’’ She answers, confused by his question and how the hell he was going to get her sexual preference with this information. He seemed to dull over what she had said.

‘’What’s her job?’’

‘’A doctor…?’’ She replies and Whizzer nods, pleased to know that she was interested in somebody with a damn good profession. He ponders for a few seconds before coming to a quick conclusion.

‘’She’s definitely gay. Prefers to call herself a dyke instead of lesbian, 100 percent dominant in bed and probably enjoys being called-‘’ 

‘’WHOA’’ Cordelia interrupts him quickly, placing her hands over his mouth with a vivid red flush over her entire face. She most certainly didn’t want to hear about this, and her pure mind would rather not be invaded with these thoughts just yet. ‘’NO!’’ She yells and Whizzer laughs at her reaction. 

‘’You wanted to know!’’ He defends after he pulls her hands away.

‘’Not that much!’’ She responds, then furrows her brows and sneers. ‘’And there is no way in hell you’re right about … ‘that’’’ She shudders. 

‘’What? That she’s gay?’’ He teases and she uses her feet to push him over the edge of the armrest. He laughs but then realizes something else. ‘’Oh my god, Cordelia.What the hell have I said about putting your dirty jacket on my couch!’’ He shrieks, pulling her jacket away and throwing it carelessly on the floor. 

Cordelia groans loudly at the sight of her favorite jacket hitting the floor. ‘’Sometimes I think you love this couch more than you love me’’ she complains, a pout on her face. Whizzer huffs and rolls his eyes at her comment, but still needed to make sure that his love was clear for her. Even if it was meant to be a joke, he cannot help but feel guilty over the tentative but still there sadness in her voice.

‘’I fucking love you Cori, never doubt that, but this couch costs nearly as much as this entire apartment’’ He sits closer to her again and pulls her in for a sideway hug. Cordelia complies and rests her head on his shoulder, and they are both quiet for a moment. Whizzer fears to ask what it is she’s thinking about, so he clears his throat and decides to return to their original topic. ‘’So, when are you meeting this lady?’’ 

She shrugs and closes her eyes. ‘’Don’t know, I gave her our address and she’s going to send a letter later… Or I hope so...’’ He nods understandingly, silently berating her for so carelessly giving away where they live but not making it clear for her. 

‘’What would you do if she was interested in you?’’ He hypothetically asks, even though he knew that it would very much be the real case. No straight woman asks another one out for coffee a few minutes after their first meeting. 

She’s quiet, so quiet that Whizzer thinks she has fallen asleep next to him, but then she lets out a sigh. ‘’I honestly think…If I like who she is, I think I would consider it.’’ She shyly answers, smiling a bit. ‘’I mean… I don’t think I care about gender, just that I like the person— Probably...’’ 

He smiles widely at her hopeful tone that had returned, then nods again. Whizzer hated himself for asking this, but he had to. ‘’Before you actually meet her again, do you have a good feeling about it?’’ He gently says, watching her face carefully as it goes from soft to mild in a mere second. She seemed to ponder over that question for a while, then nodded. 

‘’Yes, I really do.’’


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First casual hangout

It had been so easy to find a time that worked for both of them when their work hours were apparently very similar. Cordelia had written down her address on a piece of paper she had found on the reception counter, which could have been important but neither cared about that, and then she wrote her name along with a small heart besides it.

Charlotte had saved the paper in her wallet. She had also thought about that name the entire rest of the evening, and the days after that. It was a very pretty name, something she hadn’t heard much before, and she was childishly waiting to say it out loud.

When the doctor had gone home after a tiring but very eventful day, she immediately pulled out a pen and paper and wrote down some things about herself. Just an introduction, where she completely left out the ‘’lesbian’’ and ‘’Jewish’’ parts, since it was too early to mention that. Last time she checked, New Yorkers were rather against such a combination of traits that Charlotte possesses.

She wanted to know more about Cordelia as soon as possible, and she asked if she was free that same week on friday. She got an answer two days later, thankfully on a Wednesday, about Cordelia’s excitement of their meeting and was available then, and so the date was placed. 

Charlotte would be lying if she said that she wasn’t nervous, or trying to determine what type of clothes she should wear since she had first sent her letter. It would be weird to wear something too flashy or new, perhaps a skirt wasn’t something she should go for now. She just needed to think simple, still elegant and showed some sort of delicacy. That was hard. 

As she walked out of the hospital, she gazed at the reflective glass doors on her way out and tugged lightly on her coat over the dark blue blouse with the bottom part of her favorite black pant suit. And quickly fixed her hair, just to make it look more presentable after a day at the hospital. And made sure her lips arent chapped and covered fully with the dark brown lipstick. She looked good enough for a casual meeting, which was good… Right?

Well, not entirely. When she had entered her destination right on time and saw Cordelia sitting there quietly, dressed in something simple but something she swears she could still see in a magazine, her heart flutters wildly. It was the mixture of her pale blue high rise pants and her thick and short striped sweater that perfectly complimented her skin and short hair, and it nearly made Charlotte turn around to run home and redress herself.

She takes a deep breath and approaches her tabel, smiling when she realizes that Cordelia was currently too invested in her book to notice her. She looked so content whilst reading, even though her leg was bouncing up and down hastily. Perhaps she was also anxious. 

‘’Hello there.’’ She greets her, thankfully not stuttering or embarrassing herself. Cordelia immediately shuts her book and smiles so wide when her eyes land on Charlotte, making the doctor blush lightly at her reaction upon seeing her. 

‘’Hi!’’She greets brightly, and her eyes were so captivating that Charlotte had to shift on her leg to seem less like an idiot who was staring. She glanced down at the table and noted the monochrome bookmark laying by the side. 

‘’Didn’t you want to tag where you left off?’’ Charlotte amusedly asks, giving her book a look when Cordelia was a bit confused at what she meant. She bashfully puts her book down and shrugs as Charlotte takes a seat in front of her, shrugging off her jacket and hanging it on the backside of the chair. 

‘’I’ve actually already read this book… Multiple times’’ She confesses, and Charlotte raises an eyebrow. She glances down at the book, realizing that she was reading  _ Anna Karennina _ , a rather long and depressing book.

‘’Multiple times?’’ She asks in surprise, and Cordelia nods. 

‘’Yeah, it’s a good book’’ She half assedly defends, and Charlotte smiles a bit at her.

‘’Didn’t guess you’d be into those types of books’’ She admits, earning a huff from Cordelia as she leans to play with the handle of the cup Charlotte now notices was there. 

‘’Well, get ready to learn more about my preferences then’’ She stated, and if it weren’t for the innocence in her voice, Charlotte would have most certainly thought of this as a sexual expression. She scolds herself and shakes away her intrusive thoughts.

Charlotte grins, opening her mouth to say something again, probably about the book, when a group of four walked by their table and openly sneered in disgust when they saw Charlotte sitting there in the cafe. One of them even said a rather gruesome slur towards her, making both women tense up at the sound. The café was unfortunately rather small, which meant that no matter where they sat, the group of racists and probably also homophobes would still be bothering them. 

Charlotte shifts uncomfortably in her seat then rolls her eyes. She has learned how to deal with them, so she shouldn’t let this get to her just because she’s out with somebody new. ‘’Yeah, I’ve read it when I went to college-‘’ There is a snort from behind her and she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She has come this far in life and she’s probably more successful than anybody in this establishment, so she should just relax.

‘’Let’s get the fuck out of here’’ Cordelia tells her, leaving a tip next to her half full cup of tea. Charlotte was genuinely surprised at her, but follows quickly when Cordelia grabs her hand and pulls her up from her chair. The doctor just manages to grab her jacket before Cordelia has pulled on her again and lead them outside in the busy streets. 

She seemed to have an idea of where they were going, so Charlotte quietly follows right after her without a word. Neither said anything until Cordelia had led them away from the streets and stopped at a park, much less crowded since the sun was starting to set. 

‘’Oh my god, why are people so rude?’’ Cordelia loudly complains, throwing her hands in the air in frustration and sadly letting go of Charlotte’s. Charlotte lightly chuckles and walks beside her. ‘’Like, we couldn’t even sit there for five minutes!’’

‘’Trust me, 30 years of practice and it still shocks me that there are some very arrogant people in the world.’’ She lulls her head to the side, then decides to continue. ‘‘It was even worse when I was studying and became an internist. The nurses still talk yap about me and call me incapable, even if I am their superior and earned it for a reason, but hey. You gotta do what you have to to survive’’ 

‘’That’s sad’’ Cordelia complains, pouting at Charlotte after she had finished. The doctor laughs a bit at her expression. 

‘’Yeah, it is pretty sad. But I don’t give a fuck anymore. I mean, in the end I still got the job I wanted’’ She says, trying to lighten the mood a bit by being positive, but Cordelia seems to have read right through her, even though they haven’t even spent an hour together.

‘’But still. Even though you’ve done so much more than-’’ she gestured around and Charlotte thought that she expresses herself in a rather cute way ‘’like, a lot of people around, you still get the back end of it all. That’s not fair’’ Her voice drops at the end, and so does her arms.

‘’God, now you’re being sad. We should stop with the sadness’’ Charlotte softly says then gently tugs on the blonde’s sweater and nods towards a bench under a large tree. They sit down and stare at the lake, along with the ducks and geese floating there peacefully. ‘’Tell me more about yourself.’’ Charlotte states, watching how a nervous look washes over Cordelia at the question.

‘’Well, I haven't gone to college since-‘’ She pauses and slumped over, her long legs stretching and her hands playing with each other. She faced the lake instead of Charlotte’s wondering look. ‘’I didn’t have enough money to. In fact, I kind of dropped out of high school due to the same reason.’’ She laughs a bit, but it was more out of self pity than humor. ‘’So I started working at a local cafe when I was 16, and I’ve been doing the same for 7 years now. The owner loves me, she lets me use the kitchen to experiment and taught me everything I know about baking.’’

Charlotte smiles when she sees Cordelia talking more freely about her job, and she definitely grins widely when they make eye contact again. 

This was how they both found themselves talking for an hour and a half, witnessing the sky turn from blue to black whilst laughing and talking about everything and nothing. Charlotte was complaining mostly about her work life meanwhile Cordelia was telling her all about her customers that stood out for a bad reason. 

‘’I swear I saw it move!’’ She exclaims and Charlotte yells out a ‘’No!’’ in disgust at the mere thought of having a real animal around the neck. She shudders and covers her face from the thought.

‘’I honestly think this is worse than the one time I had to pull out a lightbulb out of a patient’s ass’’ she groans into her hands, and Cordelia shrieks at the mention. 

‘’WHAT? No way! How the hell is that worse?’’ She loudly asks, and Charlotte shakes her head.

‘‘I guess you get used to it after a while’’ She nonchalantly says, feigning that she was not bothered by it. Watching Cordelia scrunch her nose and raise her shoulders out of displeasure caused the doctor to grin, since she had gotten the desired reaction.

The blonde realizes that the doctor had been playing with her and she rolls her head back and laughs, her legs kicking as she shakes. Charlotte was soon joining her, and she could feel tears forming at the edge of her eyes. She felt so drunk right now, even though they hadn’t done any drinking. When was the last time she had cried out of laughter? Probably when she was a child.

‘’Hey, do you know what time it is?’’ Cordelia asks once it had gone quiet in the night and the park was empty with just the two of them. Charlotte rolled up her sleeve and winced. 

‘’Holy shit, it’s about nine thirty’’ Charlotte also realized that she had completely skipped out on dinner and was rather hungry. She hadn’t expected this to go on for so long, and she guesses Cordelia hadn’t either since she stood up in surprise.

‘’I promised Whi…’’ She halts and blinks, ‘’-my roommate that I would be home at seven, eight if there was an emergency’’ she cringes at the thought of having to deal with a worried Whizzer when she goes home. Charlotte doesn’t give her statement another thought and stands up with her. 

‘’I’ll walk you home. It’s kind of dangerous for someone to be walking home around this time. Especially a woman.’’ She vaguely puts it, trying to push away the thoughts of the many women who came to the hospital due to injuries sustained by assault. Cordelia understands and nods. 

‘’But how will you get home?’’ She asks, ready to offer her a place to stay in her apartment even if that would be very awkward and Whizzer would definitely not be okay with such a sudden intrusion. He would also make Charlotte sleep on the floor instead of the couch, if the staying over part was to happen.

Charlotte smirks and shoves a hand in her jacket's pocket, taking out a small bottle of pepper spray and shaking the can. ‘’I’m equipped for danger’’ she responds and Cordelia huffs, then shows her tote bag with the heavy book inside. 

‘’I could totally bash somebody’s head in with this bag’’ She says in a neutral tone, trying to keep her face from breaking into a large smile. The doctor gapes at her, shocked by the monotone voice she had been able to pull off. She does however doubt that Cordelia would actually do that unless in an utmost emergency.

‘’Oh, I don’t doubt you would’’ Charlotte raises her hands in surrender and Cordelia could finally laugh giddily. They continue talking all the way to Cordelia’s home, and Charlotte was rather impressed that she could afford to live in such a nice neighborhood. Well, she did have a roommate, so that explained it.

Charlotte gulps and quietly contemplates what she should say before the night ends. She wanted to be honest with her, she knew deep down that she definitely could be. Cordelia was the most open person she had ever met, and today was the most fun she had ever had these past years. 

She could continue to hang out with her as friends, but wouldn’t that be morally wrong? It would feel like she was using her mena whilst being somebody she wasn’t. Also, she was open about her sexuality. Charlotte is a lesbian, she likes girls. She likes Cordelia a lot and would want to meet her more, see more of her, but she would respect her if she didn’t want anything to do with her after confessing. It would be hard, but it was something she should learn to accept by now.

‘’I have something kind of important to say…’’ Charlotte speaks up when she sees the end of the pathway coming, where they would part ways and go home separately. The woman besides her hums in acknowledgement, indicating that she was listening. ‘’I’m a dyke.’’

Cordelia stops walking and Charlotte instantly tenses up. Ah shit, she might’ve just made a huge miscalculation and brought an end to a friendship she desperately wanted-

‘’How do you know that?’’ 

That was a very odd question, since it wasn’t framed as any insult and just sounded like a genuine question. Charlotte now realizes that Cordelia probably couldn’t say anything insulting to save her life. She pauses, narrowing her eyes and trying to understand what it was she was asking her.

‘’What?’’

Cordelia shifts from one leg to another, feeling confronted even though Charlotte was the one who just came out to her. ‘’I mean, like… When did you know? Or how?

‘’I guess when I was a teenager, around 14?’’ Charlotte reminiscences, looking thoughtfully off to the side as she thinks of how she had stumbled upon that word. Gay, she remembers her younger self thinking on and off again when she found herself staring at her teachers breasts during classes. She cringes at her young, hormonal self but finds that she was still doing the same. ‘’I realized it when I made a boy cry.’’ She laughs at the memory of saying something vaguely rude to a boy and stepping up for herself.

‘’Wow, you’ve been gay for 16 years?’’ Cordelia exclaims in astonishment, her mouth slightly open as she stares at Charlotte with big eyes. Charlotte was taken back by her reaction, but her face blushes at the way she was looking at her.

‘’Around that, yeah’’ She shrugs.

‘’Why are you telling me this?’’ Cordelia asks, and Charlotte swallows.

‘’Well, I was wondering if you’d like to meet again-’’ Cordelia smiles widely at Charlotte’s words.

‘’Of course!’’

‘’-but this time it’s more like a date’’ She finishes her sentence, and Cordelia’s breath hitches. Even in the dark night it was still very visible that the blonde was now flustered and at a loss for words. Charlotte sighs and takes a step back, raising her hands up in surrender. ‘’It’s okay. It’s totally fine if you just want to… Forget about this day and-‘’

‘’It’s kind of funny’’ Cordelia suddenly interrupts, a thoughtful expression on her face as she looks off to the side. ‘’My roommate predicted this happening the instant I told him.’’ She laughs to herself and then turns her gaze back at Charlotte. ‘’It’s even funnier when I told him that I would definitely consider it.’’ She grins widely. Charlotte opens her mouth to say something, but she was momentarily left speechless by the taller blonde. 

‘’Does that mean… You’re also gay?’’ Cordelia tenses at her words. 

‘’I don’t know, this is the first time I’ve gotten together with a girl’’ She nervously states, taking a hand to her hair and twirling a curl. 

Charlotte nods understandingly, then smiles softly. ‘’So, yes to a real date this time?’’

Cordelia smiles widely. ‘’Yes, please.’’

* * *

The second the door closed and she had stepped foot into the dark apartment, the light in the hallway flicked on and a rather angry Whizzer was standing there in his pale blue robe and slippers. ‘’What time do I call this?’’ He asks at the same time as the lights turned on, scaring the ever loving shit out of Cordelia.

‘’Holy fucking hell’’ She curses loudly, clutching her sweater and having to take a breath. 

‘’Watch your fucking language, young lady’’ He scolds her, then rolling his eyes. ‘’Alright. Spill it, Cordelia. I was this close to going out there and screaming your name’’ 

She pauses and eyes his attire. ‘’Really?’’ She sarcastically asks, even though she knew that he would probably do just that if she was a minute or so later.

He furrows his brows and shakes his head. ‘’Don’t you sass me when you’re coming into my home 2 hours later than what you said’’ He says, and she takes off her shoes and jacket, placing her tote on the floor next to the shoe stand. A large smile forms on her face and Whizzer notices it. ‘’I’m going to give you a minimal amount of scolding if you tell me exactly what happened.’’

When she told Whizzer about the events that had unfolded that day, he had laughed. A strong, loud and very obnoxious laugh that made Cordelia angry at his lack of respect for her awkwardness. When he was done cackling, he looked at her straight in the face and said ‘’Told you so’’.

She groans and leaves him standing in the hallway to go into her room, but as soon as the door closes her smile returns, much brighter this time. She changed clothes, dancing and swaying to a song in her head as she makes herself ready for bed, but as soon as she plops down on it she realizes that she was too hungry. 

‘’Whizzer!’’ She yells, waiting until he comes into her room to ask if he could make her something to eat. He only laughs again and leaves the room with a cackle that echoed through the apartment. A few minutes later he does return back in with a bowl of leftover ravioli. She eats and chats about her day more in depth, whilst Whizzer sits beside her on the bed and listens with a soft smile. 

‘’So I take it you’re happy’’ He muses after she has finished, and she sleepily nods. He takes the bowl away from her and looks at her for a few more seconds. He had raised her very well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May 1974


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date

‘’Cordelia! You better be ready to head out or else you’ll be late!’’ Whizzer yells out, but his voice echoes through the apartment and no answer comes. He pushes away the letters of requests, glaring at them before standing up and walking to her room. The door was shut and the only thing that could be heard from inside was the sound of clothes (or sheets?) being shuffled around. He glances at the clock on the wall one more time and grimaces. 

‘’Cori, what the hell are you doing? Your date starts in less than thirty minutes’’ He asks, knocking on the door. In the middle of the second knock the door flings open, revealing a very stressed Cordelia standing in her tank top and underwear. He raises an eyebrow. ‘’Loving the outfit, but isn’t that a bit too early?’’

She lets out a sob and Whizzer now realizes that there are tears in her eyes.’’Hey, what’s wrong?’’ He softly asks, stepping into her room when she gets out of the way and wipes away the tears from her eyes. He winces at the mess her room was in, with clothes everywhere and- ‘’Wait, are you seriously having trouble clothing yourself?’’ He asks in disbelief. Cordelia has always prided herself in being able to make whatever she had fashionable, so well that multiple strangers had asked her if she was a model for some corporate business. It was a talent Whizzer had taught her ever since she was young, and she had mastered it. 

Which is why this was shocking. ‘’I don’t know what to wear...’’ She complains, her voice small and childlike. Whizzer shakes his head, noting that she was shivering due to the cold. He would tell her to take a deep breath and deal with it after a cup of tea, but they didn’t have time for that. It was Cordelia’s first date with a girl, after all. 

He sighs and looks around the room again, then nods. He was equipped to help her out during her breakdowns, so this was a piece of cake. All Whizzer had to do was find a cute outfit, which would be easy among the piles of colorful clothes. ‘’Alright, go to the bathroom and wash away those unnecessary tears. Now!’’ He ordered her, showing her out of the room without giving her a chance to argue. 

It was however harder than anticipated since he couldn’t do cutesy clothes. He was more trained in what’s sexy and could make somebody want to fuck you senseless. He supposed that the styles were similar and just went with what he would choose on a first date if he were a girl. 

A white dress shirt that he was pretty sure he owned a year back and orange, wide legged shorts. Perfect for the May-summer weather outside. He scrunches his nose and walks to her drawer of underwear, taking out a bra that was nearly the same color as the pants. The shirt was see through enough that there would be just a hint of orange underneath it, but it otherwise covered everything else up. Now, this is how you get into a lesbians pants. Or should he say, this is how whoever Cordelia was meeting in five minutes was going to crave being inside her orange pants. He pauses for a second. 

Maybe that wasn’t what he wanted to happen right now, he should probably pull this outfit to the side for another date. Perhaps their 50th? Yes, that sounded right. Cordelia is also too innocent to be screwing around on her first date, and he would certainly not allow that-

‘’Whizzer! Thank you so much!’’ Cordelia says when she enters again, looking much better, and her eyes are beaming at his outfit. ‘’Thank you!’’ She repeats again, and before he could tell her that he really wanted to change her outfit she had pushed him out to hastily wear them.

He was right, she did look dope in that outfit.

* * *

Charlotte was starting to get nervous. 

Well, she was already nervous when she had arrived at the park, but her nerves had just worsened when the clock had ticked past five, and Cordelia still wasn’t here. Admittedly, it was only 10 minutes over five and it’s okay if she was late. But….

Charlotte groans and slumps over on the bench, pressing her hands to her face to cover it both from the burning sun and the humiliation she was feeling. What if Cordelia had been too scared to tell her off and lied to meet with her today? That would’ve been a great way to get away from her, by simply not showing up and ignoring her for the rest of their lives. 

She was definitely overthinking this now. 

Taking a deep breath, she lightly tugged on her skirt and fixed her belt again. She was regretting bringing her jacket with her because of the heat, but she was hoping that she would use it later tonight, when the sun has set. Was she assuming too much right now? Well, definitely, since Cordelia was now 15 minutes late.

‘’Charlotte! I’m so sorry!’’ The brunette flinches at the sound of her name and turns to its direction, and she was immediately taken by the woman calling out her name. Of course it was Cordelia, but she felt like this was such a surreal moment. She couldn’t even let out a sound that somewhat resembled the words ‘’no worries’’.

Charlotte watched as Cordelia took a seat next to her and planted hard, holding a hand to her chest to try and ease her heart a bit, and she was speechless by her attire. Was she honestly a model in disguise, or did she just have a really great fashion sense that was perfect for each occasion. But at the same time, even though the outfit she wore was great, it felt like it wasn’t Cordelia.

The sheer material of her shirt, that was boxy around the shoulders, was clearly meant for men when she took a closer look. Perhaps an old boyfriend’s shirt she kept cause she fit so well in it?

‘’Is there something wrong?’’ She asks once her breathing had returned to normal, tilting her head and not understanding that her shirt was far too open to the outside word, and that the men (and sometimes women) who walked by were staring at the amount of exposed skin. Charlotte hated the twisted feeling in her stomach that she got whenever somebody was looking directly at her cleavage and making it so obvious. She herself was one of them, so she looked away and glanced at her quickly. 

‘’No, no. Shall we go?’’ The doctor smiled reassuringly, since there was nothing wrong, then looked over at the lake whilst she stood up. This was going to be harder than she had expected. 

It wasn’t too bad, since they easily made conversation flow between them and could laugh like their first hang out a week prior. They were going to stop by a juice bar to buy something to drink, then walk to a restaurant, grab some dinner (since they made the mistake of forgetting about it last time) and eat it at the same park they met at. 

A first date picnic was always a good way to start, a great way to also get to know each other and talk without interruption. And it was great, everything was fantastic, or at least if you take away the fact that Charlotte had stared at the water more than her date. And that Cordelia had most certainly noticed by the second hour.

The blonde had shook it away as Charlotte probably being a nature lover, which is why she asked what she thought of it. She was horrified when the doctor had told her then that nature and being outside wasn’t her thing, she much preferred being inside and being efficient in her work instead. It was an odd question which left a slight tension in the air, mostly due to Cordelia drifting into her thoughts.

‘’I don’t get it…’’ Cordelia softly mumbles, mostly to herself. It was still loud enough for Charlotte to hear.

‘’What?’’ Charlotte nervously asks, not understanding why Cordelia was looking at her like that. 

‘’You ask me out on a date but then you spend the entire evening looking away from me’’ She explains, her voice wavering. Charlotte was shocked, she hadn’t thought it would be so obvious that she was avoiding to look at her. Cordelia bites her lip and looks down. ‘’And it just makes me think… That you’ve regretted your decision of asking m-‘’

‘’NO’’ She interrupts loudly, wincing when Cordelia flinches and leans back. ‘’Sorry, didn’t mean to yell’’ She apologizes quickly, and Cordelia visibly relaxes at her apology, though she still looked very anxious and uneasy. Charlotte gulps. ‘’I’m sorry, I’m… It’s just that’’ She nervously laughed and started cracking her knuckles. ‘’I don’t regret asking you out.’’ She explains, but Cordelia still looked pretty skeptical. This was going to be hard to explain. 

‘’Then why have you been looking away from me?’’

‘’It’s a stupid reason… And weird. Mostly weird’’ 

‘’I won’t judge’’ She insists, and Charlotte smiles. She definitely wouldn’t judge, or at least not make a big deal out of it, but it was still weird to admit it. 

‘’I, it’s kind of hard to look at you… wearing those clothes…’’ She vaguely insinuates, looking her over with her eyes before flicking them immediately back to her face. Cordelia was quiet for a second, and Charlotte hoped it wasn’t because she was disgusted.

‘’What do you mean?’’ Cordelia asks, genuinely confused by her statement. Charlotte was honestly not surprised she was confused by what she was saying, but it was making it harder to explain her predicament. Gosh, why the hell was Cordelia soo pure? 

‘’You’re too innocent.’’ She mutters mostly to herself, then psyches herself up. ‘’You’re hot’’ she blurts out, and slowly feels her face warm up due to the bluntness of her statement. Cordelia herself flushes, the tips of her ears becoming red as she finally pieces together Charlotte’s actions, and she shifts to sit on her knees.

‘’Oh…’’ She shyly answers, looking down at her drink and swirling what’s left of it around. ‘’Thanks…’’ Cordelia licks her lips, a move that makes Charlotte wish she was still having a staring competition with the lake, then smiles bashfully at the doctor. ‘’You too. You’re very hot’’

Charlotte gapes, then breaks into a laugh about the awkwardness between them when admitting something like that. Cordelia looked pretty perplexed about her sudden laughter, then snorted and joined in herself. It was safe to say that they both found humor in this.

‘’Hey, can I borrow your jacket?’’ Cordelia asks, nodding her head towards the jacket that was left outside of their eyesight. Charlotte furrows her brows but tells her it’s okay. She watches the blonde grab her jacket and take it on, the dark blue clashing un-tastefully against her orange shorts. She didn’t seem to mind it, and zipped it up until it was over her chest. ‘’There, now you can stare at me, right?’’

The doctor scoffs, rolling her eyes playfully. ‘’You know you’re still just as good looking?’’ 

‘’Hey, being gorgeous is a curse. You should know.’’ Cordelia wistfully and boldly responds, although the faint blush on her cheeks told a different story. When the disastrous start of the date was soon turned into a wonderful evening together, along with a walk in the park and Cordelia admiring animals from far away, they both felt more confident. The fact that they both called each other hot made it much easier for them to start complimenting each other, and also much more natural. It didn’t halt at the tip of Charlotte’s tongue and neither did Cordelia see it as something weird.

It was almost weird how close they had become even if this was their second hangout. Cordelia had a small gnawing voice in her head that told her this was going too fast, that she needed more time to be able to trust the doctor. But whenever that voice came, Charlotte would quirk an eyebrow amusedly or laugh at one of her stories. The voice would instantly dampen and make the blonde smile widely back at her.

This time Cordelia had been much more careful about the time, and when the clock hit nine she halted their flowing conversation and sadly stated that she needed to head back home. Charlotte agreed with her since she had an early shift at the hospital the next day, and they both found themselves wondering back to Cordelia’s apartment just like the week prior. The doctor would not mind doing this more often. 

‘’What’s the name of the café you work at?’’ The brunette asks, noting slightly how their hands were brushing against each other since they were so close. She shook away the thought to just go for it and grab her hand.

Cordelia snicker. ‘’Why do you want to know? Are you going to surprise me by showing up?’’ She playfully asks, and Charlotte grins. She supposes it wasn’t that big of a shock that she had thought of actually doing that. 

‘’I just want to see more of you’’ She responds honestly, shrugging as if it was nothing. Cordelia’s grin softens into a smile, and her hand interlocks with Charlotte in a sudden movement. The doctor smiles brightly, but it visibly drops once she realizes that they have arrived at her apartment building. 

‘’Guess we’ll just have to meet up more often.’’ She gives her hand a light squeeze, then jumps with excitement when a great idea comes. ‘’Let’s go on another date tomorrow, after your shift.’’ Cordelia suggests happily, stopping when they are at her door and facing Charlotte. The doctor looks just as excited as she felt, and she accepted the suggestion of another date.

Before they parted, Charlotte just wanted to test the waters, so she lightly tugs on her hands to come closer. The reaction she got was immediate, since Cordelia’s hands go up to her shoulders and stops her from leaning in. 

‘’I- I’ve never ..’’ She looks away, gulping before lightly squeezing Charlotte’s shoulders. ‘’I don’t think I’m ready’’ Cordelia softly whispers, her expression apologetic and worrisome. Charlotte instantly moves to get away from her, but Cordelia’s hands on her shoulder wrap around her and pull her in for a hug. ‘’Can we say goodbye like this instead?’’ Something in her voice was indirectly saying ‘’At least for now’’, and the doctor sure hopes she wasn’t reading too far into this. 

She melts into the tallers embrace, loving the warmth that surrounds her completely. It was perfect, and all her anxious thoughts that she was moving too fast came to a halt when she felt Cordelia squeeze her closer. ‘’Of course’’ Charlotte grins, her hands going slowly around the blondes slim back.

Thankfully it was dark yet again, with nobody around, because if somebody saw their long and powerful embrace they would most certainly know it wasn’t just between friends. 

Before pulling away and turning to go into her apartment building, Cordelia hesitates a bit. Charlotte notices because she sort of pulls away a bit, but they were still in each other’s embrace with their bodies close. She was going to let go of her since she thought that perhaps she had overstayed her welcome, but Cordelia cups her cheeks in a sudden movement. 

There was a light, soft kiss being pressed against her forehead. A quick peck that still felt like eternity because Charlotte’s mind was replaying the feeling over and over again. All while Cordelia quickly says goodbye and turns around quickly, opening the door to the building just as she manages to mumble ‘’good night’’ to the dark sky. 

Charlotte blinks. Then she laughs.

It was a kiss to her forehead. Charlotte had just received a kiss on her forehead from a woman younger than her, as if the doctor was some sort of infant. Something so small and at such an insignificant place as her forehead, it wasn’t even on her cheeks or anything. 

Yet her heart was beating so fast, and her face felt warm and giddy. She completely forgot about her jacket, but thankfully she didn’t have anything too important in it. 

This date might’ve been a bit of a disaster, but it still felt like one of the best she’s ever had so far. 

* * *

Whizzer was genuinely impressed that Cordelia had managed to come home right on the time she said she would be home, and that she looked untouched and very happy. He greets her from his position on the couch, slumped over and reading the multiple letters he has gotten. When Cordelia enters the living room she eyes the papers in his hands, her grin from entering dropping instantly as she recognizes the look he has whilst reading them. 

‘’Did they ask about me?’’ She asks, already knowing the answer, then leans to take out a thick envelope from the bookshelf’s top shelf. He groans and drops the pages to his side, leaning his back exaggeratedly against the cushions, taking notice now of the unfamiliar jacket around Cordelia’s frame. 

‘’As usual, eighty percent of these are about you’’ He responds, grabbing the envelope when she hands it to him. He stuffs in the new letters amongst a stack of others, the space starting to get cramped, and sighs. ‘’We should really move, or at least change our names’’ 

‘’We did that last time and they still found you, Whizzer Brown’’ she replies, flopping down next to him as they both contemplate a quick solution.

‘’Yes but maybe you should change yours’’ He thoughtfully says, and Cordelia immediately shook her head. 

‘’Nu-uh, I like my name! Besides, I changed my last name too!’’ She argues, and he huffs out a small laugh, making her realize that he was joking. She pokes her tongue out at him, a deadpan expression on her face.

‘’Alright, Delia’’ He says, throwing a glance in her direction before remembering her date again. He cringes softly to himself when he realizes that those letters had ruined her happy mood. ‘’How was your date?’’ 

‘’Fun! Also, I should never ask you for clothing advice. You’re way too slutty.’’Cordelia responds, looking at her exposed knees and thinking about something with a shy grin. Whizzer smirks. He knows that expression meant that something  _ good _ had happened.

‘’What, did she swoon?’’ He teases her, and she rolls her eyes and wrinkles her nose. 

‘’Not exactly, but there definitely is a second date tomorrow’’ She replies fondly, wrapping herself up with her arms and then panicking when she sees the dark blue material around her. ‘’Oh shit, I forgot about returning her jacket! What if she’s freezing outside?’’ 

‘’Delia, honey. It’s like 60 degrees out. Why were you even wearing her jacket in the first place?’’ He sees the way she bashfully looks down at the jacket's sleeves, a light blush forming on her face. 

‘’That’s a secret.’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May 1974


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kiss

They were crushing on each other rather hard, and it was painful for Charlotte that she had to reel herself away from Cordelia whenever somebody eyed their closeness in public. In fact, it was annoying that they were getting so many glances from people who didn’t know shit about their lives.

Putting all the staring aside, it was starting to feel like a second nature for them to meet up now. Like a routine they both have brought into their lives. They would meet three times a week at the same time and place, then see where the road leads them. Often, either Charlotte or Cordelia had an idea for the day, and it had become an unspoken rule that they take turns deciding what to do. 

Charlotte might have decided where they should be today, meanwhile Cordelia had packed a basket of homemade sandwiches full of chicken. They both had a grave love for white meat and bread, so it was perfect for their date. 

She had brought Cordelia to a park by the hospital which lacked people, thankfully. Charlotte had a perfect spot where they could sit down and relax without being further interrupted, and they settled down when they had arrived. 

Cordelia had gushed over the scenery for a few seconds, her smile wide as it scanned around the area. There were huge trees that surrounded a pond in the middle, with wild life running all over the edge of it. There were cattails, long grass and flowers scattered all around, and a perfectly trimmed spot where one would sit down in front, just a few feet away from the water. 

‘’How the hell did you discover this?’’ Cordelia asks once they have laid out the small blanket on the grass, small enough that they had to be seated right next to each other. Neither of course minded that. 

Charlotte thinks for a second, then remembers. ‘’It was around 7 years ago, maybe. I had gotten an internship, after much coaxing to the owners of the hospital, and that was probably the worst year of my life. Whenever it was too stressful, or I simply didn’t want to see people, I’d come here and smoke.’’ She shakes her head a little. ‘’It was kind of dumb to be smoking in such a peaceful space.’’ She scolds herself lightly, though it was disguised with a small laugh. There was a small silence, before Charlotte turns and notes the way Cordelia was looking away and clenching her left arm.’’What’s wrong?’’ She wonders and the blonde shivers a bit. 

‘’Do you still… Smoke?’’ Cordelia timidly asks, playing with the sleeves of her blue sweater. Charlotte finally gets it, and she curses herself for mentioning something that was a turn off for many.

‘’Not anymore-‘’ She considered lying and sticking to that lie, but then sighs. She doesn’t like lying to people just to make them still like her, but it was worse when she was lying to somebody she liked. ‘’Yes, sort of. Well, they’re more like my stress relievers, so yeah. I do smoke, but not daily, or even weekly. It’s barely once a month-‘’ Charlotte rambles on, trying to form her sentence to something that made sense. Cordelia stops her with a hand on her shoulder, and Charlotte was relieved to not see her angry in any way. 

‘’It’s okay, I get it. I just-‘’ She pauses, then scrunches her nose. ‘’I really don’t like the smell.’’ Cordelia finally says, but there was something off with her voice that made Charlotte wonder if there was something more than just the smell. ‘’Thank you for taking me here.’’ Cordelia says with a smile, and Charlotte returns it. 

They don’t exactly talk about it anymore that day, it is actually forgotten about, and they chat whilst eating the food made by Cordelia. Charlotte praised her sandwiches multiple times, making Cordelia blush at the amount of compliments, and they talked more about what they liked to do. 

It was hilarious to learn that Charlotte’s curent hobby was trying to learn how to mix drinks and make cocktails, since it had come out of nowhere, and Cordelia silently thought to herself that maybe Whizzer could teach her one day. She doesn’t say it out loud, only mentions that her roommate knows how to make a mean mojito. The blonde also thought it was fun to hear the doctors struggles with something so mundane compared to her everyday job.

‘’How was I supposed to know that there are different types of ice?’’ Charlotte asks incredulously, making Cordelia giggle at the thought of her attempting to make a simple drink at home. ‘’If the book says ‘add ice’ you just put in normal, store bought ice, right? Apparently no!’’ 

‘’Hey, don’t underestimate the drink artistry, Doctor.’’ Cordelia laughs, and Charlotte rolls her eyes but joins in on the laugh as well. These were one of the few moments in Charlotte’s life that she could just be open about who she is, which is a relief, and laugh about it. It wasn’t until Charlotte had stopped laughing that she realized Cordelia was staring at her. Or specifically her lips. 

Oh, Charlotte thought quietly to herself as she shifted and leaned her face a bit closer. Oh, indeed.

Just then, when they were sitting under the cascading leaves and enjoying the warmth in that spectacular moment, a strong gust of wind swept through the woods. They only parted away when Charlotte’s hat got pulled away due to the force of the wind, and the moment was ruined when their eyes averted to follow the fabric.

‘’Shit’’ Charlotte loudly curses, staring at her sun hat that had flown out and onto the edge of the pond. She cringes and watches it start getting soaked in the water, but she couldn’t do anything about it. Cordelia stares at it as well, then glances at Charlotte’s disappointed expression at losing her hat. She decides that it’s time to do something reckless for the sake of her doctor.

Her doctor, that was a wonderful thing to think

She bunches up her jeans, much to Charlotte’s surprise, then stands up and walks towards the pond with her pants near her knees. The water wasn’t clear, so she had no idea how deep it would be, but Cordelia prided herself to be a great swimmer so she was ready no matter what. 

The doctor realizes what the blonde was going to do, and she instantly gets up and grabs her wrist before she steps into the water. The blonde tenses at her movement, and it was concerning for Charlotte for just a brief second until Cordelia tried to walk away again. ‘’Woah, no. Baby, what are you doing?’’ 

The term of endearment rolled off her tongue so smoothly that she nearly doesn’t catch herself saying it. She only notices when Cordelia’s face flushes and her eyes dart around, clearly scanning the area in case of others. There weren’t any people in sight, but she still felt the need to confirm their privacy. 

‘’I’m- I’m getting your hat?’’ She states, the answer coming out as a question since she thought it was rather obvious. Charlotte still held onto her, in fact she was pulling her closer and away from the water. 

‘’You’re not going into the water. What if you get a cold? Or worse, some sort of disease?’’ Charlotte reasons, and Cordelia laughs at her worried tone. 

‘’Stop being such a doctor.’’ She teases, and Charlotte looks at her whilst being unimpressed. ‘’Besides, I have done this before. Don’t worry about it.’’ she assured her, placing her uncaptured hand on Charlotte’s. Charlotte shakes her head again. 

‘’I’m not going to let you -‘’ Before Charlotte could finish her sentence, Cordelia had pulled her forward and shifted both her hands around the brunette's waist, hugging her tightly. Then she leaned down and pressed their lips together. Her lips were so soft and she squeezed Charlotte’s hips and shut her eyes for just a second.

It was an understatement to say that Charlotte was shocked. She was stuck in place and could only marvel in the feel of Cordelia’s lips for a few seconds before the blonde had pulled away, and by then she had left her standing there paralyzed. Then she saw how Cordelia went into the fucking pond without a second thought. 

‘’You - That’s not fair!’’ She yells at Cordelia, her cheeks tinged red and angry that she had let her chance go so fast. She also hoped that this wasn’t the only chance she would get today.

Cordelia only snorts in response, going deeper in and shrieking when the water had reached her upper thighs. It was thankfully also then hat she had reached her destination and could lean to take the hat. She shook it slightly to try and dry it a bit, and Charlotte yelled for her to return back that instant. Cordelia only does so after grabbing a cattail and making it pop, then another because she was there so why not. She giggles and gets out of the water, shaking her legs to let the cold water cool. 

‘’Here’s your hat.’’She presents said item as if it was a trophy but Charlotte couldn’t care less about it, and she makes that clear. She just grabs it and throws it to the side (that wasn’t near the water, she wouldn’t want Cordelia to get in there again) and cups the blonde’s cheeks. 

Their second kiss was much softer, and definitely longer. This time both members were participating, and Charlotte’s fingers treaded lightly in Cordelia’s hair, whilst the blonde’s clenched at her lower back, wrinkling up the blouse she wore. 

Charlotte swore that she had never kissed anybody who tasted like literal vanilla, probably from the homemade vanilla hearts they ate after the sandwiches, and she was craving more. Her hands snake around Cordelia’s neck and she stands on her toes to press further into the blonde, just to make it easier to use her tongue.

Neither had paid any attention to the gravel scattered around in the tall grass until Cordelia had missed a step and slipped. Next thing they knew, the blonde had pulled them both down with her back on the ground and Charlotte on top of her. 

Cordelia lets out a small whine at the small pieces of stones digging into her back, but the feeling of Charlotte’s legs around her abdomen was also something she rather enjoyed. (She briefly thinks she wanted to feel this more often, or be in the same position again, but bites her lip at such an indecent thought.)

‘’Fuck, are you okay?’’ Charlotte asks, instantly sitting up and going to stand to relieve Cordelia off her weight. Cordelia however stops her by boldly placing her hands on her thighs, gently and very slowly massaging her through the thin material of her skirt. 

‘’No, I’m perfectly fine.’’ She smiles widely, and Charlotte now realizes that Cordelia’s wet legs and pants were starting to drench her own skirt. The doctor also notes how cold her legs were due to the water, and she shifts her own so that she was on her abdomen instead.

‘’You’re going to get sick…’’ Charlotte mumbles, but it was a half attempt at nothing when she leans back down to kiss Cordelia again. She’ll deal with the cold after. Cordelia happily hums into the kiss, and shifts a hand back to her lower back. It wasn’t until the sound of leaves rustling a bit further away that they pulled apart hastily, both out of breath and bashful at nearly being caught by whatever was nearby. 

—

He nearly got whiplash at how fast his head had been whipped up when he heard the door suddenly open, and he couldn’t take a step before Cordelia made a sound. ‘’I kissed her!’’ She yelled the second the door was closed behind her. Whizzer’s head poked out of the kitchen corner, clearly both confused and conflicted. He glances at the large sum of paper on the kitchen counter before deciding to fuck it for now and see what Cordelia was on about. 

‘’You kissed her?’’ He asks, and she nods frantically. He was shocked, since he had placed his bet on this ‘Charlotte’ person to make the first intimate move, so he repeated what he had said and emphasized one word this time. ‘’ _ You _ kissed her?’’

‘’I kissed her!’’ She answers, much more confident and the smile on her face wrinkling up her eyes. He walks into the hallway, crosses his arm and furrows his brows. He didn’t believe her. 

‘’ _ You _ kissed  _ her _ ’’ He asks one final time, and she rolls her eyes. 

‘’Yes!’’ She says, throwing her hands up in the air to exclaim her seriousness. When they come back down, they cup her own cheek and she smiles bashfully. ‘’I totally kissed her… Multiple times too, holy shit!’’

He laughs at her reaction of kissing her girlfriend (He didn’t know whether they were girlfriends or not, but it’s easier to call them that. Also, Cordelia talked about her like she was her significant other.). He knew full well that if it was him kissing a boy he liked he wouldn’t be returning home that evening. He shakes off his own accomplishments and focuses back on Cordelia’s, since it was a pretty big step for her. ‘’Congratulations, how did it feel?’’

‘’Great! Fantastic! Amazing!’’ She shakes off her outside clothes and her dirty jeans that were very wrinkled, which she thankfully doesn’t bring anywhere near that couch, then sits down on the couch excitedly. ‘‘Magical! Awesome! Wick-‘’

‘’I think it's time to use another synonym for great’’ he stops her, and she lets out a small, giddy shriek. 

‘’It was so good, and she was gentle and oh my god, I can’t believe I did it but I am so happy I did it!’’ She tells him, grabbing his arm and shaking it. He smiles softly and takes hold of her hands on him, effectively making her stop and stare at him with her big eyes. 

Whizzer instantly gets caught in those eyes that have seen so much but are yet filled with so much happiness, and he thinks back to a promise he made all those years back when they first met. A promise he always thinks about and has made sure to keep since. He knew he needed to break it just this once, and it pained him to have to tell her that when she was so happy. But he couldn’t postpone this to any other day, and the courthouse needed an answer now or the situation would only get worse.

‘’That’s great, Cori…’’ He starts, then the frown from before she had entered came back and she instantly held his hands back. Whizzer looks away from her and stares at the coffee table in front. He felt Cordelia shift in her seat, and he supposes she has realized that something is up. 

‘’What-‘’

‘’The letters for the case conference came in the mail today…’’ 

‘’Oh?’’ She breathes out, her shoulders tense. Whizzer nods. 

‘’They demanded having your presence there, and the conference won’t ensue without you’’ he slowly tells her, watching her reaction instantly fall and her body lean away from him. 

‘’When is the-‘’

‘’In two and a half months, around the middle of August’’ He tells her, interrupting her so that she doesn’t have to taste the sour taste whenever saying those words. She was baffled, and he bit his lip lightly before speaking again. ‘’We need to send an answer before the 24th...’’

‘’But it’s the 20th now.’’

‘’I know… ‘’ He doesn’t plan on telling her he had pushed back talking about this because she would always come back home happy nowadays, and he’d rather not be the reason her bubble bursts. But this was an innocent lie, something that won’t harm her-

‘’You didn’t get the letter today, right?’’ well shit, maybe he was easy to read to somebody like Cordelia. He swallows and nods, keeping his face from grimacing and trying to look neutral. She sighs and presses a hand to her forehead. ‘’Can you write the letter?’’

‘’Of course, Cori. Have you decided w-‘’

‘’I’ll go,’’ she says, then stares at him with an unreadable expression. ‘’Anything to get those bastards away from us.’’ She mumbles then stands up, mentions that she has to go take a shower and wash some clothes, then leaves. Whizzer watches her helplessly from the couch and groans once she is out of earshot. 

There was so much work he had to do, yet he couldn’t find himself ready to get up and do anything about it. He was already going to spend an entire night writing a letter to the lawyer he was forwarded to when he was at the office, but now he also had to start writing a confirmation letter to the court? 

Why couldn’t their lives be easier? Why couldn’t Cordelia catch a break? Why couldn’t death just lead them to a paradise where none of this existed? He places his face in his hands and breathes deeply, just until his thoughts are gathered and he can stand up to start his night. 

He had so much work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> June 1974


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a trainwreck

Whizzer was starting to get annoyed. He had now been waiting for over thirty minutes for the lawyer he had contacted to show up, and he was starting to feel like this was a scam. He had yet to pay the man, but any professional who is over 30 minutes late was probably not somebody you should trust. 

He eyed his coffee and scrunched up his nose in disgust. It had gone cold and thick, and the already bitter taste to it was making it worse. The only reason he even had bought a coffee was because he wanted to seem more of an adult to earn some respect from the lawyer. He really needed to have one who could help them win their case and not see Whizzer as incapable. 

The cafeteria door dings and Whizzer glances around the room, finally seeing the face he had contacted a few weeks prior entering through. He seemed to instantly walk up to Whizzer, possibly since he was the only male in the establishment.

‘’Whizzer brown?’’ 

Whizzer stands up and reluctantly offers his hand to shake. ‘’Marvin Grayson?’’ He responds, some snide in his tone as he doesn’t bother to hide his anger at the situation. Marvin seemed taken back by it, but he didn't let his posture go. 

‘’You have the right to be angry with me. I had to drive my child home to school and got carried away.’’ Marvin explains, taking a seat in front of Whizzer after he had plopped back down. Whizzer was most certainly still not impressed, but he let the subject go when the lawyer opened his portfolio and brought out the letters he had sent him. 

Before Marvin does any actual talking, he waves for the waitress to come to the table and bring him a coffee. Whizzer’s brows furrow whilst the time still drags on, time that he was going to pay for after this is done. ‘’So shall we get down to business? We need to-’’ 

‘’Yes, finally.’’ Whizzer grumbles, not hearing the continuation since he had been too focused on the portfolio, then sits up straighter. ‘’I want to put a restraining order on my wife’s family, and also-’’ 

‘’Yes, I read your letters.’’ Marvin now interrupts him, then sighs. ‘’I was referring towards the evidence, which you lack off.’’ He elaborates, and Whizzer feels his blood boil. 

‘’You mean that the countless threats we have gotten, along with police reports from neighbors about domestic violence isn’t enough?’’ He asks bitterly, almost as dark as his coffee. Marvin looks up from the letters and sighs.

‘’Listen, anybody could have written these letters-‘’

‘’Fuck is that for some sort of-‘’ Whizzer complains aggressively, but Marvin cuts him off before he can continue.

‘’-AND the complaints will most likely never hold up in court on their own. The best we would get then is a fine or two.’’ He finishes, his voice starting to edge as well. ‘’If you and your wife want a guaranteed win, where you can send your wife’s mother to jail and put a restraining order on the rest of the family, we need to have hard proof. For instance, actual evidence of domestic abuse.’’ 

Talk about getting down to business quickly, this meeting was practically already over. Whizzer watches the lawyer carefully as he takes out a copy of one of the letters, which he had underlined the date of. ‘’You’ve been getting these for 8 years?’’ 

‘’Actually, 10 years probably, but I didn’t keep the first batch of letters.’’

Marvin nods, then shuffles through the mess that had now gathered on the table due to the lack of organization from the lawyer. He finally finds what he was looking for, and shows two other letters where the date was also underlined. There was a one year gap between the dates of these letters, even though they are in chronological order. 

‘’Did you throw away the letters in between these two?’’

‘’No, that was when we changed our names and address. Took only a year for them to find us, however.’’ Whizzer explains, starting to play with the coffee in his cup and watches it flow around dangerously close to the edge.

‘’That explains the name…’’ Marvin says under his breath, but Whizzer hears it.

‘’What?’’

‘’I mean, that explains why your name is Whizzer. No parent in their right mind would call their child after the bathroom in a bar.’’ He answers, trying to form it into some sort of joke, but it falls flat when Whizzer clenches his hand around the cup.

‘’No parent in their right mind would send death threats to their only child, so tomato-tomato.’’ He darkly answers, and Marvin nods slowly, swallowing down whatever he wanted to say after. The lawyer then gets his coffee and takes a sip, not even bothering to give the waitress a glance when she hands it to him. Whizzer narrows his eyes at him and slumps back on the chair, his hands still tense. 

‘’Anyway…’’ Marvin awkwardly starts, placing his cup down after taking a deliberately long sip. ‘’As I said, do you have any proof about the domestic violence you claim have happened?’’ He asks it as if he didn’t believe it was true, and Whizzer wanted to throw his cold coffee on him for saying that. 

Yes, no shit he had proof, a lot of it too if one could count the countless little scars on Cordelia’s body. 

He is silent as he thinks of something a bit better instead, since he had read enough cases to know that scars could be easily faked if one was willing enough. He does have proof of domestic violence in another way as well. In his drawer at home, under many dress shirts, he had an entire album full of pictures that would be great for this. The one thing that stopped him from moving forward, however, was Cordelia. She didn’t know about the album.

‘’If I take with me some proof, would you guarantee that this will be over before it gets worse?’’ He skeptically asks, and Marvin doesn’t deny nor confirm his question.

‘’Depends on how hard you go, Mr.Brown’’ He finally responds, and Whizzer accepts that for now. He glances down to his fingers where he was subconsciously twirling around the ring, then decides to end the meeting for today. Marvin had been a bit confused at how abrupt their interaction had been, barely even 15 minutes, but decided that it wouldn’t matter if they were going to discuss more next time. 

When Whizzer drives home, he doesn’t realize that he had been clenching the steering wheel until he had parked and was about to get out. He tries to calm himself down on the way up the stairs to their apartment. He tries also not to think about the shit lawyer he had hired. At least they could afford him, but he hopes that the money won’t go to waste. Cordelia had really saved up for this opportunity, and Whizzer was not going to let some asshole lawyer bring it down. 

He unlocks the door and finally relaxes when he is in the space of his own home and comfort. 

There are light footsteps as he takes off his shoes, and he looks up to see Cordelia standing there expectantly in her pajamas, since it had yet to turn 9 o'clock and she had nowhere to be in hours. He smiles reassuringly and tells her that everything was going to be alright, then quickly jumps onto another category to talk about. 

After Cordelia walks back into her room, Whizzer goes into his own and rummages through the wardrobe's bottom drawer, frowning once he finds what he was looking for. The cover was starting to get a bit torn, but the date on it was very clear. 1959 - 1961. This was it. 

He had no idea how to bring this up, how to casually mention to Cordelia that he had this entire album filled with pictures of her during the hell she called childhood. He might need to work on a good monologue before showing her this. 

But if the lawyer was right, this might be their best and only chance of winning. 

He plays a bit with the edge, contemplating whether he should open it or not, but decides against it since he didn’t want to see those pictures again. This entire album was fucked up, anybody who took a peek at the first page would know that, and yet he still kept it like some sort of masochist. The album is carefully placed on the drawer as he decides that perhaps later that evening would be a better time. 

Cordelia yells from her room that it was Whizzers turn to make lunch, and he smiles when a perfect chance to forget about today’s meeting could be forgotten for just one second. Whizzer doesn’t suck at cooking, he just has to place an extra amount of focus on it which makes him forget other things.

‘’Do you think we’re together?’’ Cordelia asks once she comes out of her room, after the chef had called her to come and that the food was done. Whizzer raises his head from reading the newspaper, looking a bit confused.

‘’We are married?’’ he questions, giving a pointed look to the ring he wore, and she rolls her eyes and sits down in front of him at the kitchen table. 

‘’Not us, I meant me and Charlotte!’’ she reiterates and he lets out a sound of understanding. She takes a hold of the fork and knife by her plate then plays around with the food a bit. He glares at her until she huffs and actually eats the food he had made.

‘’You two hang out everyday, so yes.’’ he answers nonchalantly after that, flipping the page and trying to find something remotely interesting, or an advert for an apartment in New York City. He doesn’t find anything and sighs, closing the papers and faces Cordelia instead. She seemed to be a bit down, and he was confused as to why. ‘’Is it a bad thing that you two are dating?’’ He asks, and her eyes wrinkle up a bit. 

‘’No, I want that… It’s just… ‘’ She pauses and takes another bite from the cheap but very flavorful mac and cheese he had crafted. ‘’What if she doesn’t want the same thing? Or what if I’m just some side piece to her? Or what if-‘’

‘’Cori,’’ he stops her by raising a hand, and she is silent whilst watching him with great interest. ‘’I can’t answer that question, and you should talk to her about it.’’ Her shoulders slump down as that doesn’t help her in any way, and he smiles.

‘’What would you do? I mean, if you were in a situation like mine?’’

‘’Do you mean if I was pining after somebody who I am practically dating?’’

‘’... Yes?’’ She replies slowly, and he scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. 

‘’First of all, I don’t do dating and the whole ‘together’ thing’’, he counts, raising one finger then the second. ‘’And secondly, if I were to be in a situation like yours we would’ve already had sex by like the second date’’ he smirks when she blushes and hides her face with her hands. 

‘’How can you just have sex with somebody on the second date?’’ She asks him, and he shrugs. She had asked him a similar question before, which was how he was so carefree when it came to the men he chose to specifically bed. He was going to reply with some wit, saying how not everybody had relationship problems and trust issues, but he decides against it when he realizes that Cordelia could probably do without the sarcasm now.

‘’I don’t care about association, unlike you. We’re different in the sense that you search for a family who can replace the shit you used to have-’’ she looks briefly away at that, but he continues, ‘’-while I don’t want to risk that shit again’’ He stops, then chuckles lightly for himself. ‘’Funny how you are always the optimist, Cori’’

‘’Yeah, that might be dumb’’ she replies quietly, smacking her mac and cheese with her fork until he tells her to stop with the sound. They are both quiet for a while as Whizzer tries to think of something smart to say to that. 

‘’No, it’s not dumb’’ he finally says, cringing at his childlike argument. ‘’It’s kinda dumb that I don’t connect with others and won’t take chances though. I’ve never seen you happier than after one of your dates with Caroline-‘’

‘’Charlotte-‘’ she quickly corrects and Whizzer lulls his head back groaning. She laughs a bit at his over exaggerated behavior.

‘’I mean she’s literally the only person you talk about, and I’m happy for you. It’s actually a smart idea to find somebody like that for myself’’ He gasps. ‘’Holy shit, I need friends.’’ He concludes, making the blonde giggle and nod. 

‘’You really do’’ she says smuggly.

—

Cordelia was nervous about today's date with Charlotte, a feeling she hasn’t had since their first date two months ago. She wasn’t going to actually ask what their status is, since she didn’t know how she would react if Charlotte said they weren’t dating. 

Of course she would be heartbroken and sad, and probably start to emotionally distance herself like Whizzer does all the time. Maybe she wasn’t fit for having a relationship with a girl, and Charlotte realizes that and ends up hating her? She was thinking up far too many hypotheticals, but as the clock ticks by she can’t help but do so. 

Thankfully, today’s date was just a walk in the park, it wouldn’t even count as a date if they both hadn’t been so adamant about calling it that, so Cordelia didn’t look too weird in their usual seat at the park. She was only minding her own business, counting seconds in her head and looking at her clock whenever to see if her mind was synchronized to the watch. 

Not as thankfully, Charlotte was late. 

It was probably like when Cordelia had been late to their first date, she had thought. Well, at first that is, but then the clock ticked past seven and the doctor was officially _late_ late. The seconds in her head had turned from minutes to an hour, and the blonde took a shaky breath. 

Perhaps this was the answer to her question earlier. Cordelia wasn’t somebody important to Charlotte, and this was a sign that she shouldn’t have ever trusted her feelings. This was all a mistake, she was going to end up getting hurt again and Cordelia would rather skip that stage than witness it again. She would rather skip all the stages if it meant that she could stop comparing this to instances from her fucked up past with Whizzer-

‘’Cordelia!’’ 

The blonde blinks, realizing that there had been tears gathering in her eyes and that there was a loud voice calling for her. She looks up, surprised to see the shorter woman now in front of her with her face flushed.

‘’I’m sorry. I got caught up at work, and I couldn’t call you and Jesus Christ.’’Charlotte breathes out. ‘’I can’t run that fast for that long!’’ She panted heavily, bending and placing her hands on her knees to catch her breath. Cordelia was still silent as she watched her, her eyes still wide. 

When the doctor had managed to pull herself back a bit, her breaths evening out a bit instead of being ragged, she stands up again and runs a hand quickly though her now frizzled hair, making it admittedly worse. ‘’I really didn’t mean to be this late, holy shit.’’ She curses some more, and Cordelia gestures for her to take a seat next to her on the bench to calm down. 

Cordelia watches as Charlotte finally regains her breath, not realizing when she opens her mouth and says something so silently that she barely catches it herself. ‘’You’re different.’’ she simply states, not even bothering to hold back her tears that were streaming down by this point. Charlotte looked clearly distraught at the fact that she was crying, and she quickly shuffles out a handkerchief from her pocket. 

‘‘I’m so sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to make you cry’’ Charlotte apologizes again, her gentle fingers touching Cordelia’s cheeks and wiping away the tears. Cordelia shakes her head and firmly grabs her doctors hand on her cheek. 

‘’No, these aren’t sad tears! They’re-‘’ They weren’t exactly happy ones either. Cordelia was unsure what type of tears she could call these, but the emotions closest to accurate were tears of relief, so she decided to go with that. ‘’They’re ‘I’m glad you’re here’ tears.’’ 

Charlotte seemed to be even more concerned at hearing that, and she sighs after being done cleaning her up a bit. ‘’Why did you wait for me?’’ She asks, sounding a bit baffled.‘’ I was going to go to your apartment after coming here to apologize, and I am honestly surprised you’re still here.’’

‘’I- I actually had an important question to ask you.’’

‘’Oh- Okay.‘’ Charlotte audibly gulps, seemingly more nervous than Cordelia was this instant. The blonde had actually never witnessed the doctor look this disheveled before, her usual behavior always headstrong and confident, as well as her hair and attire. No, today she saw Charlotte with her blouse slightly wrinkled at the bottom, her pants and shoes dirtied from the run here and her hair flying around everywhere. Cordelia smiles softly at her. 

‘’Will you be my girlfriend?’’ She slowly asks, her voice hopeful. Charlotte seemed shocked, and for a second Cordelia was scared it was because she didn’t know how to negate the offer. If one could even call it an offer, it was more or less a pact of love-

‘’You still want me to be your girlfriend even if I was nearly an hour and a half late?’’ She asks, disbelief evident in both her voice and face. Cordelia nods, a slight grin on her lips as she takes a hand and lightly brushes down the doctors hair.

‘’Yeah, weird how feelings work.’’ Cordelia responds, and the older chuckles full heartedly at hearing that. Charlotte takes her hand away from her hair and intertwines their finger together, then scoots closer on the bench.

‘’I would be so happy to be your girlfriend’’ the doctor finally answers, and Cordelia nearly chokes at her voice. She sounded like being together with Cordelia would be an honor to her, something so important with how her voice was laced with love, and the blonde had never felt this before. ‘’Don’t you dare start crying again.’’ Charlotte says lightly, and Cordelia nods even though her eyes were becoming watery again. 

She leans her forehead on Charlotte’s shoulder, their hands still clasped together. ‘’I was so nervous to ask you.’’ She confesses, giggling a bit at her momentary freak out with Whizzer earlier. Charlotte takes her other hand and lightly rubs her back with it.

‘’I’m glad you took a chance with me.’’ She whispers, and her breath came out hot against her ears, making Cordelia shiver and bite her lip. She leans back and looks around the park, feeling satisfied when there wasn’t anybody around, then turns to Charlotte. 

Charlotte could immediately tell what her reaction meant, and she laughs before bringing Cordelia closer again but this time making their lips meet in the middle. The younger instantly melts into the soft kiss, and she throws both arms around Charlotte’s neck to keep the doctor there. 

‘’You’re acting a bit weird today.’’ Charlotte says once she had been able to pull away for just a second. She smirks and squeezes Cordelia’s waist a bit, making her squirm a bit and muffle her loud laugh by pushing her head to Charlotte’s neck again. ‘’So bossy.’’ She murmurs, and Cordelia rolls her eyes. 

‘’I’m happy!’’

‘’I’m not complaining!’’ Charlotte says, then pauses a bit.‘’By the way, now that we are officially dating, will you actually tell me your full name? I mean, I’m dating somebody whom I don’t even know the last name of.’’ Charlotte asks, and she thankfully wasn’t able to see Cordelia’s eyes widen nor hear her breath come short for a second. 

This was inevitable, that is if they were going to date and if Cordelia wanted a future with Charlotte, which she really wished for. She would sooner or later have to tell the entire truth, or at least part of it. She wouldn’t be able to ignore or disregard her questions about her past or her family. Maybe this relationship thing wasn’t worth it if -

No, Charlotte was most certainly worth it for Cordelia. She just hoped that if the day came and Cordelia told her story, her girlfriend wouldn’t turn away. 

‘’ _Cordelia Brown_.’’ She firmly responds, and Charlotte nods.

Not today, but she will tell her soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 1974


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Milky? Whimping out on writing a smut scene? Its less likely then you think  
> This chapter is a hot mess :')

“Do you maybe want to… chat more in my apartment?” 

Charlotte blinks. 

They had just been on their 16th date, a date that had lasted 4 hours with nonstop talking, so it was surprising that there would be more to it. This was one of their longest dates so far, excluding the first one they’d had that counted more as a first meeting than date. It wasn’t a problem for Charlotte to talk more about nothing and everything important at the same time, but this was another type of invitation. 

This often meant that they were going to be doing more than chatting. By the flustered look Cordelia had when she asked that, with a slight stutter, meant that Charlotte wasn’t overthinking it. This was most certainly an invitation.

Charlotte tries to read her girlfriend's expression, trying to find any sign of falter or distress, but she only found her to be blushing and nervously awaiting for an answer. So she shrugs and says ‘’alright’’, then hopes to god that this wasn’t something neither of them would regret. 

She also had to make sure to be extra clear to Cordelia that having sex wasn’t something she had to do. Even if this was the longest relationship Charlotte has had where they didn’t have sex on the third or fourth date, she was more confident in her feelings now. She had learned that no matter what she does with Cordelia, it always feels nice and perfect in all ways. So she wasn’t desperate to have sex with her.

Politeness aside, she would love to have sex with her. (She would love to see if she was right about what type Cordelia was in bed- The shy but very loud one that demanded things to be done their way- but that was a thought she’d rather think of in private.)

When entering the Blonde’s apartment she notes that the shoe stand was filled with all types of shoes, for men and women, but she knew her roommate was male so that was to be expected. She also notes the lack of pictures and personal photos. There weren’t any, what she could so far tell anyway. Maybe Cordelia’s room had one of her family. 

The apartment was tidy and clean, but it also had just the right touch of homeness to it, like the blanket on the couch that was slightly ruffled or the baseball bat leaning against one of the kitchen chairs. Charlotte points at it in surprise, not expecting this from her girlfriend. ‘’Do you play baseball?’'

‘’Oh, yeah. Me and my roommate love to play, but it’s just the two of us. It makes it more challenging to have to pitch the ball and then run to catch it’’ Cordelia giggles lightly at the thought, then beams. ‘’So far, I am the leading Champion.’’She brags, even if it comes off more as an achievement she’s proud of than something she gloated about. Charlotte inspects the baseball bat, liking the flower stickers that covered the base of it. It seemed old, but still sturdy enough to hit a hard ball.

‘’Is it because you’re a fast runner or a good batter?’’

‘’Both.’’ Cordelia responds cheekily, and Charlotte chuckles at the way this topic seems to have instantly brought up the mood of her girlfriend by like 120%, not that she wasn’t happy before. Charlotte could just tell that she had something on her mind the past few days, something that made her a bit more tense and nervous. Maybe it was this? 

Cordelia suddenly jumps up, something she does whenever she has a ‘great’ idea. ‘’We should play together!’’ She exclaimed excitedly, her hands clapping twice out of glee. Charlotte, however, instantly shakes her head, trying to convey that it most certainly wouldn’t work. 

‘’No, never. I might know how to hold a bat, but I am more of a watcher than a player.’’ She tries to reason, unpleasant memories of when she and her siblings would play baseball in the garden when she was younger, and how she was rightfully named ‘the dud of the family’ when it came down to playing the sport. It didn’t make her any less of a fan.

Cordelia laughs. ‘’No way, I don’t believe you. You can’t possibly be a doctor but not have any skills in baseball.’’

‘’Yes, because it’s a criteria to know how to play baseball to be able to become a doctor.’’ Charlotte sarcastically says, and Cordelia pouts but nonetheless takes her hand and continues showing her around. When she shows her bedroom to the doctor, Charlotte was yet again taken aback by how empty it seemed. Sure, there were a lot of things in the room, but they were all placed so delicately that they didn’t seem to have any point except being practical. The only thing Charlotte could see that was a bit more personal was a large teddy bear that sat on the floor at the end of her bed. 

‘’What a nice fella you have there.’’ Charlotte mentions, and Cordelia nervously chuckles.

‘’Yeah, I got him on my 12th birthday.’’

‘’Jesus Christ, 12 years and he still looks like that?’’ Charlotte asks, and Cordelia shrugs a bit as if it wasn’t something big. Charlotte swore that she had never been able to keep anything in such good conditions, even if it was a matter of life and death. 

The blonde pulls her back out of the room, then tells her that she could take a seat on the couch whilst Cordelia brings out the cookie dough balls she had created yesterday. As Charlotte sits down and once again examines the interior of the room, her eyes land on the bookshelf at the end of the living room next to the big windows. 

It was filled with classic titles, such as  _ war and peace _ ,  _ Jekyll and Hyde _ and of course, the book she had seen Cordelia with,  _ Anna karennina _ . She wondered if Cordelia perhaps loved to read books with new morals and idealistics. Maybe she was a big fan of the modern and scientific era of literature?

When Cordelia comes back, with tea and baked sweets on a tray, Charlotte asks about it after eating one of the goods. Cordelia looks at the bookcase in surprise, then nervously laughs. ‘’Actually, it’s a funny story. Before me and my roommate moved here-‘’ Charlotte raises her brows, realizing that it meant a) Cordelia wasn’t born in New York and b) she had known her roommate for far longer than she had let on. ‘’-he wanted to bring some books as entertainment on the road. So he kind of- Oh god, don’t ask, but he stole them from his high school as a last rebellious act against them.’’ 

Charlotte was momentarily taken aback by the story, not at all expecting that, and she laughs once she has found her voice and thoughts again. ‘’He stole books from his high school as a farewell?’’

‘’Well, he had to uphold his legacy before leaving.’’ Cordelia answered, her grin wide and her cheeks an adorable shade of pink. They were always that color, either due to the minimal amount of blush she uses or naturally that way. Charlotte just wanted to pinch them, so she did so with both hands. The doctor smirks when Cordelia’s nose scrunches up, and Cordelia tries to return the attack.

She succeeds when she changes direction and instead grazes Charlotte’s sides, making the brunette freeze up as she accidentally lets out a loud cackle. Cordelia bites her lip and narrows her eyes at Charlotte, and she might be in for it now. 

Cordelia shifts to her knees and attacks her sides more prominently, and Charlotte releases her face to try and stops her pestering hands. It isn’t until Cordelia was hovering over her, the doctor's legs on either side of her thighs, that Charlotte could muster up real words. 

‘’Stop it!’’ She laughs, her eyes tearing up and her breaths starting to get shorter. Cordelia shakes her head.

‘’No! You started this, you’re going to pay!’’ 

‘’Cordelia- don’t—‘’ She hisses out between wheezes, and Cordelia thinks that she would stop in a minute. She was just enjoying seeing her girlfriend laughing up close. Charlotte however had gathered another plan, and used her upper body strength to surprise the blonde.

The younger yelps as she was suddenly on her back, too fazed by the sudden movement to counter it. When Charlotte’s hands tried to tickle her sides, she realized something that might have foiled her plan. “You’re not ticklish.” She dumbly states, and there was a victorious grin on the girl underneath. 

‘’You’ve lost this round, Char.” Cordelia teases and she had the audacity to look up at her with that grin, when she was literally the one trapped underneath. 

“Mhm, I wouldn’t be so confident about that.” Charlotte mumbles, tracing a hand underneath Cordelia’s chin and tilting her head to make her neck arch. When Cordelia is about to respond, Charlotte presses a warm and long kiss to her pulse point, making her stutter out a gasp. One kiss led to another at a spot nearby, and they quickly turned sloppy, since the brunette was urged to continue when all Cordelia could respond with were sighs of pleasure. It had been fine, this weird game of theirs, until she felt Cordelia shift closer to her. The blonde's hands wrapped around her back and she pushed their bodies closer.

Right. The invitation.

“Are you sure you want this?” Charlotte murmurs whilst placing another kiss under her jaw. Cordelia shudders at her low voice and yes, she desperately wanted this. At this point she needed it. She nods, then uses her hands to cup her doctor’s jaw so that their lips could connect, but Charlotte chuckles and stops it with a finger to the blonde’s lips. ‘’Use your words, sweetheart’’ She tells her, and something about the way she says it sparks another light in her tummy that makes her legs go jelly. Her voice was often so smooth and reassuring, and now it’s still soft yet so lustful.

“Yes, god yes” She moans and goes for a kiss again, this time without Charlotte stopping her. Cordelia could already tell that this would be the best sex she has had so far, especially when all those frat boys had never made her feel like this the entire duration of it. She felt so good with Charlotte, like always. 

Cordelia spreads her legs wider to make more room for Charlotte to come closer, and then she wraps it around her waist to keep her there. As if Charlotte would choose to leave this. As the doctor's wandering hands went underneath Cordelia’s sweater, the blonde seemed to snap out of it as it was pushed higher over her stomach. She grabs a hold of Charlotte’s hands, shocking the doctor at their haste. 

“Don’t stare.”

She pauses, surprised because she didn’t expect this from Cordelia. She hesitantly continues pulling, carefully looking into Cordelia’s eyes to make sure she didn’t feel uncomfortable. The blonde seemed to only be bracing herself, which was weird since there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary-

Oh. Charlotte couldn’t help but stare, her eyes wide when her mind suddenly understood another part of Cordelia.

There were many, too many, marks scattered around, varying in length and depth. They were thankfully faded, only slightly visible in the dim living room light, but they were there. For some reason, unbeknownst to her being the actual truth, she knows that Cordelia hadn’t done them herself, or that they were all accidents. That’s too many accidents.

She looks back up at Cordelia, then smiles sadly at her. She wanted to talk about it, but the look on the blonde’s face told her to do everything but that. So she obeys and says the next thing she wanted to tell her. “You’re beautiful.” She pressed a kiss to the underside of her bra, on a particularly large scar, when Cordelia shook her head. “Yes you are, baby. You’re very fucking beautiful.” She firmly says, and Cordelia gives away a small giggle at the sound of her girlfriend cursing. 

“You’re also very fucking beautiful.” Cordelia finally speaks, gentle hands cupping Charlotte’s cheeks and bringing her back for kisses. They break apart to throw the blonde’s shirt to the floor, and Cordelia starts impatiently tugging on the hem of Charlotte’s. ‘’Your turn.’’

Charlotte slyly smirks but goes along with it, lifting her hand over her head so that the shirt could be pulled off easier. The girl underneath threw away the shirt and then she was also found staring. Charlotte laughs at her shocked expression and feels her face flush at the feeling of being looked at for too long. 

‘’You sure know how to flatter a lady.’’ She mutters, but Cordelia doesn’t hear as her hands go up her side and to the side of her chest. Charlotte rolls her eyes and reaches behind her back, snapping her bra open and letting the straps fall down her shoulder. 

Cordelia leans up and captures her lover's mouth in another heated kiss, this time however with her hands cupping the brunette’s breasts and gently massaging them. Charlotte knew better than to tell the girl what to do, since Cordelia could figure it out by herself, and she was pleased to know that she was right as her slow fingers circled around a nipple and pinched it softly. She sighs and breaks the kiss, then lets out another pleased sound as Cordelia’s mouth wanders to her neck. 

When there had been enough kisses, even though it was impossible to say when that is, Cordelia decides that they needed to change location. “Not here-“ She breathes out, patting twice on her shoulder. Charlotte half agrees, since it would be more comfortable on a bed, or even on the floor, but she didn’t feel like moving. 

‘’I’m tired…’’ She breathes. Cordelia laughs softly, but then feigns a frown. 

‘’Too tired for…?’’ She traces off suggestively. 

‘’No, I’m up.’’ Charlotte immediately says, getting up from the couch and taking Cordelia with her. Cordelia excitedly leads her back to her bedroom, after picking up the two discarded shirts and bra on the floor, and giddily closes the door behind them. She throws the flimsy clothes carelessly on the floor, Charlotte not minding one bit, and strides towards the doctor with purpose as she cups the doctor's cheeks and brings them together once again. 

They fall down onto her bed together, and Charlotte lays on top of her like they were before in the living room. Resuming their previous actions, but this time it was much more hurried as Charlotte’s hands unclasped the blonde’s bra and Cordelia undid the belt around her lover's skirt. 

Their clothes were discarded rather quickly after that, leaving them in only their panties as they pushed and pulled against each other. When Charlotte’s mouth latches onto one of Cordelia’s nipples, the blonde lets out a soft moan that Charlotte wanted to hear so much more of, so she grazed her teeth against her sensitive chest. 

‘’Wait-’’ Cordelia whines and pushes Charlotte back a bit. The doctor instantly stops her movements and watches as Cordelia sort of snuggles out from underneath her and reaches the edge of the bed, where the teddy was sitting. She lightly shoves him so that his face would fall to the floor, and then she makes her way back to her original place. ‘’Didn’t want an audience.’’ She explains, making Charlotte chuckle and kiss her cheek. 

‘’I'll keep that in mind.’’ 

Cordelia half nods then pulls the doctor back down by her neck, clearly not liking the fact that they had to pause their foreplay. Charlotte tries to stifle her laughter, failing when she only starts to laugh more at the way Cordelia pouts at her lack of seriousness from a minute ago. 

‘’It’s not funny!’’

‘’No, you’re just so cute.’’ Charlotte tells her amusedly, a playful smirk on her face. 

‘’I don’t want to be cute right now, I want to be sexy!’’ Cordelia complains, then gets a mischievous grin on her face that Charlotte had yet to see from her. When she was going to ask about it however, she finds herself yelping when she is pushed to the side and straddled in one swift move.

‘’Whoa, you’re really-’’

‘’Stop talking.’’ 

And Charlotte listened.

\--

‘’You’re a very fast learner.’’ Charlotte breathes out, her chest still heaving. Cordelia giggles lightly and grazes her shoulder with her teeth. 

‘’Has the student become the teacher?’’ She teases, wiggling her body adorably against Charlotte's abdomen.

‘’Never. There’s so much more, baby.’’

\--

‘’This- This is all-‘’

‘’Yes, that’s all the shit my wife’s parents have done to her. 1959-1961.’’

‘’Jesus fuck. Two years?’’ Marvin cringes, flipping through the pages and looking pained. When he has reached the middle, he drags a hand down his face and shakes his head. ‘’This is more than enough.’’ He breathes out, and Whizzer nods absentmindedly. 

‘’You better fucking win this’’ Whizzer says , and Marvin agrees. At first he had been a tad bit skeptical about what type of domestic abuse they were dealing with, since many of these cases were flops or counted as flops, but with this. This was above anything he had seen in his office, above a lot of things he had worked on and researched.

‘’I wish it was that easy,’’ Marvin scoffs, then backs out when Whizzer glares at him. ‘’-but I will talk to my superior and see what can be arranged.’’ He continues seriously. He closes the album and narrows his eyes at the worn out hard cover. ‘’I take it you don’t want your wife to know this was used as evidence?’’

Whizzer becomes visibly uncomfortable. ‘’I’d rather not bring up these memories-‘’

‘’Well, you better have a talk with her then. This is what will make the case prevail.’’ Marvin taps the cover of the album. Whizzer scowls at his lack of apathy, but then lets out a huff. 

‘’Is this a guarantee or are you going to disappoint another client’’ He asks him, and the lawyer pinches the bridge of his nose. 

‘’Look, I know I was an asshole when we first met, but no other lawyer is willing to pick up this case due to their misogynistic minds. So work with me here.’’ Marvin argues harshly, but then he leans forward a bit. ‘’ I will work out a strong enough defense to help you out, but I cannot do so without your wives permission to talk with her and use her story.’’

‘’The conference is tomorrow, how the hell will you talk to her before that?’’ Whizzer asks, and Marvin clenches and unclenches his fists on the table. He looks around the cafe, then leans in closer over the table. 

‘’The conference tomorrow will postpone the trial by a few months.’’ Whizzers brows fly up in surprise at hearing that, since he had expected the trial to happen a week after the conference. This truly changes the perspective, but he furrows his brows. 

‘’Why?’’

‘’Because tomorrow, you’ll ask for a reduced sentence for your wife’s mother.’’ As if a switch had hit, Whizzer furry awakens in him and he wants to punch Marvin in the face. When he opens his mouth to make his anger clear, the lawyer speaks over him quickly. 

‘’Wait and listen! When we change the sentence, the judge at the conference will have to end it to bring it up for discussion. Since, like I said before, most of the jury are misogynistic assholes-‘’ Whizzer refrains from calling Marvin one as well ‘’-the ruling will be postponed further. By then, we would be given enough time to contact the neighbors to your wife’s parents and get an actual witness testimony, the letters will hopefully be traced back to them and your wife can give a statement. This is the best way, even if it stretches on for a while.’’ 

Marvin watches expectantly to see if Whizzer was going to give him any sort of applause for his rather clever plan, that he had admittedly stolen from a coworker, but he was still staring at a frown. 

‘’So, this will just be dragged on, and we’ll have to pay you more for it?’’ Whizzer huffs out, a hand going to massage his temple. ‘’God, you lawyers are the worst.’’ Marvin doesn’t take any offense at hearing that, since he for the most part agreed. 

‘’I only gave you a suggestion. You can still go through with this in your fast pace, but trust me. I know the judge and judge Orwell doesn’t do domestic violence well.” 

“Of course not, our luck just gets better doesn’t it.” Whizzer grumbles and pinches the bridge of his nose. “How much is it going to cost?” 

“35% of how much you’ll be able to sue and 4000 dollars cash.” 

“4000 dollars!” Whizzer exclaimed in shock, slamming his palm flat on the table.

“Well, it’s a big case.” He half assembly explains, taking a sip from his drink. 

“ _ And _ you also get 35%?” 

“That’s usually how it is.”

Whizzer purses his lips, taking a deep breath. Him and Cordelia had barely enough to pay for this, but he supposes they could take out more from their savings for this. He knows Cordelia has saved from her job at the cafeteria and other small errands she does whenever she has the chance to, but he also knows that she is saving up for something specific she won’t tell him about. He couldn’t possibly take that away from her. 

He reluctantly agrees and decides yet again to put faith into the lawyer, who was their only way out of this. ‘’Fine, but we are not paying for your hotel in California.’’ He growls, then grabs the album and stands up. He stares down at Marvin. ‘’I’ll see you tomorrow then.’’ Whizzer states as a finale, then grabs his coat and leaves the establishment. 

He doesn’t bother to wear his jacket even though it was rather cold out during the night, but he needed to wrap the jacket around the album to keep it from being seen by anyone else. The clock had just struck 11 PM, making Whizzer sigh and wish he could go for multiple drinks like he always would on a saturday, but tomorrow is an important day. 

The walk home was very much needed, since the cold air flowing through his hair calmed him down. He was still tired of Marvin’s behaviour, and the entire ordeal he and Cordelia were in was just draining by itself. Then there was dread for tomorrow, and that was what was weighing them both down. He was pretty sure he had never witnessed Cordelia stress bake that many dessert balls in his entire life, which made their fridge consist of 70 percent snacks that they were barely able to eat before another batch was made.

This was all very annoying, he groans and clenches the book in his hand.

Which is why seeing a stranger in his home trying to straighten her wrinkled shirt made him more frustrated with the day. She looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights, but her expression quickly calms down a second later. He not so subtly judged her attire, noting that she seemed to have some sense of style, but lacked anything that made her stand out. He briefly wonders how Cordelia would find her anything other than bland, though he pushes that back since he had yet to have an actual conversation with her. 

‘’You must be Charlotte, right?’’ Whizzer half heartedly greets, and the woman nods, although still looking confused as to who he was. He was thankful that she was wearing her shoes, since that meant he could easily push her out in just a second.

‘’And you are Cordelia’s roommate, -?’’ She stretches on, waiting for Whizzer to fill in the blank of who he was. Whizzer was shocked that Cordelia had yet to mention his name, but he supposes that it was normal for a new relationship like theirs. If one could call a three month old relationship new…

‘’I’m Whizzer Brown.’’ He tries to sound polite, he really does, but he was too tired to even function like a decent human being. He does notice her stiffen up a bit at hearing his name, and he runs a hand over his face to keep himself awake. 

‘’Wait- Brown- Like—‘’ Charlotte tries asking, but he holds up a hand before she can continue, then points at the entrance. 

‘’Not to be rude, but could you leave? I want to lock the door, and frankly I don’t want to talk to you right now.’’ He says, and she stares at him for a few seconds in shock and something else that he couldn’t quite read, but he guesses it was despise. Charlotte does however listen to what he has to say and takes off her jacket from the hanger, Whizzer noting that it was the same one Cordelia once came home with, then left without even saying goodbye. 

He stares at the entrance door for a few seconds after it had closed, then sighs to himself. Whizzer knew Cordelia could sometimes do reckless things when she felt stressed, but this was definitely new. After taking off his clothes and changing into some comfortable sleepwear, Whizzer knocks lightly on Cordelia’s door and waits patiently until she gives off some response. He hears a groan and then a grumbled ‘’come in’’ that he takes as his cue to open the door. 

He finds her, as expected, in her bed, looking sleepily at him as he sits down by her side and lightly pokes her cheeks. Cordelia only furrows her head under the yellow sheets and he sighs. There was no easy way to say this, so he should just be blunt.

‘’Did you only have sex with her because of the conference tomorrow?’’ He asks her, and Cordelia is awfully quiet under the covers, which made him internally wince. He sighs and rubs her shoulder, trying to give her as much comfort she needed right now without intruding. 

‘’Not entirely’’ she finally speaks up, and he listens patiently to what she has to say, even if it was taking so long for her to elaborate. ‘’It felt like the right moment, and Charlotte can always make me feel better… did I use her?’’ Her voice was followed by a small sob, and his hand stopped its movement. 

‘’No, Cori. You didn’t use your girlfriend if she agreed to have consensual sex with you’’ he tells her lightly, and finally she pulls down the covers and lays on her back, her eyes tearing up. He pushes her bangs away from her face, giving her a small smile that was a smidge away from making him break down as well. ‘’Don’t cry, there’s nothing you need to worry about.’’

‘’I don’t want to see them tomorrow’’ She whines, and he agrees with her. He’d rather not have her see them either, but they have to. 

‘’I’ll be by your side the entire day.’’ He says, his voice firm and strong enough to make them believe that perhaps tomorrow will be okay. And it will hopefully be in some way better than what they had expected, because Whizzer believes that Marvin could be right about this, and more time will help profoundly.

That night, they both end up sleeping in Whizzers bed, but only after they both had gone to take a shower and brush their teeth. When they are settled under the covers, with Cordelia’s head resting near his chest to hear his heartbeat, they talk about tomorrow. Whizzer tells her about today, about the plan, and tells her that they will definitely get them soon, and she nods before drifting off. 

Whizzer stays awake for a few more minutes, counting seconds until he loses track of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> August 1974


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this took a while :')  
> I was lacking s o much motivation to post anything, but now it is done  
> ALSO I HAVENT PROOF READ THIS  
> SO UUUUUH THATS ON HOLD UDRTGHYT

Charlotte's 31st birthday was rapidly getting closer, so close that there were less than 12 hours left, and Cordelia wanted to find her a nice, delicate gift. Since her birthday was nearly six months after their first official meeting, she also had to make it special. Desperately too. This marked a special day both in their relationship and in her girlfriend's life, which meant that nothing should ruin this. Everything should be up to Charlotte’s liking and standards, which is why her gift needed to be exceptional. 

She was however out of ideas. 

Cordelia had always thought of herself as a great shopper, and buying gifts for others came almost naturally. The problem is that she had only ever bought gifts for Whizzer, and he was a literal contrast to who Charlotte was. Charlotte cared more about the meaning, or wanted something practical and useful to her. She had considered buying her a necklace, but Charlotte’s style in jewelry was so specific that she feared rejection at whatever she buys. 

Cordelia closes her eyes and crosses her arms, the magazine in front of her with suggestions frustrating her. There was nothing she could find that sparked interest, or made sense as a birthday gift. She was already running late, mostly because she had yet to figure out what her present was going to be and her girlfriends birthday was today. She was pretty sure that the only thing she could actually give Charlotte would be a homemade meal, but that would be too cheap, wouldn’t it?

‘’Whizzeeeeeer’’ She groans as she stands up from the kitchen table, slouchingly walking over and poking her head through his door without knocking. He was standing in front of the mirror, holding up two freshly, ironed button ups. The brunette doesn’t even bother looking at her from his position.

‘’What?’’ He responds, annoyed at having been interrupted from his moment. He perks up a second later though, turning to Cordelia. ‘’Cobalt or Azure?’’ He asks her, and she immediately frowns, scrunching her nose in disgust at the second option. 

‘’How could you even consider Azure when it’s fall?’’

‘’Good point.’’ He replies, throwing the offending shirt on the bed and taking on the cobalt one. She furrows her brows, leaning her side against the door frame. 

‘’Why are you getting dressed up?’’ She asks him suspiciously, smirking a moment later when she is reminded by the date on the calendar she had seen earlier. He rolls his eyes.

‘’None of your business.’’ He shoots back, even though it very much was her business, dusting off the already perfect dress shirt and making sure it sat well. ‘’What did you need?’’ Whizzer changes the topic quickly, turning to her with a persistent look to signify the end of that conversation. She purses her lips, pouting slightly and sighing. There was no way to get it out of him, which was frustrating, but she’d rather not push him. 

‘’What should I buy for Charlotte?’’ He huffs and grabs the discarded shirt on his bed, opening his closet and placing it inside. 

‘’I told you last week, you can never go wrong with lingerie or-’’

‘’No.’’ She tells him, her face red as she stops his sentence midway. She already knew where he was going, and she’d rather not cross that path again.Talking about intimacy with Whizzer always ended with her regretting it after. ‘’Nothing like  _ that _ .’’ She states firmly.

‘’Do you seriously not have a single idea on what to get her?’’ He asks, picking at the ties he had placed on the drawer instead of facing her. She pouts, looking down and trying to hide her irritated look.

‘’Obviously not’’ She mumbles under her breath, though he catches her annoyed look with a glare in the mirror. 

She doesn’t know why, but every time Whizzer had to go out to meet with the lawyer, he became distant in a way she hated. She had yet to actually meet him, this Mr. Greyson who was helping them, even with her insistence that she should be involved. Whizzer was always opposed to that idea, though it was eventually gonna happen.‘’Thanks Whizzer.’’ She sighs, leaving his room with no less stress than before.

* * *

Once the hour had arrived, her emotions were flaring up and saying she was nervous didn’t exactly describe how anxious she was. She had ended up caving in and buying her a pair of silver earrings that were delicately made by the owner, and they looked like a piece from the coral reefs. Cordelia had adored them, and she found that they could fit Charlotte rather well, but she was still very nervous about giving her it. 

Wrapped in a nice box, along with colorful wrapping paper that she had found laying at home, she nervously taps her foot and stares at the small box at the top of her grocery bag. She was just outside of the doctors door, and no matter how creepy it seemed to be standing there, not knocking, she felt like she was stuck in place. 

Right. 

She should treat this like any other day in her life. 

Even though it wasn’t a normal day. 

Right. 

Cordelia shakes her head and inhales, a deep breath sort of clearing her mind out of the spinning thoughts in her head, and knocks on the door. And just like that, their small celebration together had begun as soon as Charlotte opened the door and let her in. She had been over at Charlotte’s apartment multiple times, and she had just started to get used to spending more time inside in the comfort of the brunettes home. It was easier that way, and far more comfortable for them when they wanted to be more intimate. 

‘’Do you want help with those?’’ Charlotte asks her as Cordelia walks into the kitchen with the large bag of groceries she had brought with her. The blonde shakes her head and turns to Charlotte after placing the bag on the kitchen island. 

‘’Nono, today you--’’ Cordelia starts with a smile, pushing Charlotte to the barstools by the edge of the island. ‘’--Only get to sit down and relax.’’ She says with a smirk, laughing slightly as Charlotte pouts and slums down in the chair. She places a kiss on her cheeks, giving her shoulder a squeeze. ‘’Happy birthday, Lottie’’ She says with a large grin, and Charlotte hums and pulls her in for a quick kiss on the lips.

When she pulls away, Cordelia still stays put right by her lover, bearing a soft smile as Charlotte returns it. ‘’You didn’t have to do anything major, baby. I told you, no--’’

‘’No gifts are needed, I know.’’ Cordelia winks at her, and Charlotte rolls her eyes as she immediately understands that Cordelia had gone against her rule. It was a stupid rule either way, since gifts are always needed. 

Charlotte tries peeking into the bag, but Cordelia once again pushes her away from it and starts unloading the major amounts of sweets she had bought, along with take out from a dinner that they would eat breakfast at whenever Cordelia was over. She had in fact splurged a bit of money just to make today perfect, especially when it came down to the gift that she had bought .

‘’Isn’t this like… our six month anniversary?’’ Cordelia pipes up as she hands Charlotte the takeaway bag with her order of lasagna. Next came her own take out dinner and two types of ice cream, vanilla for Cordelia and strawberry for Charlotte, and a bunch of bags full of donuts and pastries that were left over from the bakery. 

‘’Well… depends on what we count as our start of the relationship. The day we officially became girlfriends or the day we went on a date together for the first time?’’ Charlotte answers back as she glances with great interest at the things that were being pulled out of the bag, a slight flash of disapproval as she notes the amount of sweets.

‘’... Both?’’ Cordelia shyly states, making the doctor snort. Cordelia pouts and rolls her eyes. ‘’Alright, what do you count as our anniversary?’’

‘’That’s… That’s a tough question. We didn’t exactly have a phase where we were only friends. We actually went from strangers to lovers real quick, so our anniversary is possibly… Somewhere in between us officially going on a date and us becoming girlfriends.’’ Charlotte thinks nonchalantly, taking a bite from her lasagna after. Cordelia pauses as she thinks through what the brunette had said, her hands coming to a stop from fiddling with the pastries. 

‘’We… We’re practically strangers... ‘’ She breathes out, and that makes Charlotte look up at her. 

‘’We’ve known each other for six months--’’ Charlotte starts, questioning her logic, and it somewhat makes Cordelia annoyed that Charlotte, out of all the people she knew, thought that six months was enough to know somebody. Wasn’t she supposed to be the more realistic and calculated one? 

‘’-And yet I still don’t know if you like coffee or tea more.’’ Cordelia states, making Charlotte chuckle even if that hadn’t meant to be a joke. 

‘’You want to play a game of questions?’’ She asks her amusedly, and that makes Cordelia brighten up a bit. That did sound like a good plan, especially when she needed to know more about Charlotte and be reminded that no, they weren’t actual strangers and she was just overthinking everything again. ‘’Alright. I like both, but Coffee is much better. Did you have any pets growing up?’’

‘’I have never owned a pet, but there used to be a bunch seagulls that I kept feeding fryes to until they started worshipping me, which is nearly the same.’’ Cordelia tells her, remembering how she would often sneak out of the house with a bag of frozen fries, then wait for hours just so that she could throw them at the seagulls by the beach. Charlotte nods at her wise words, a large grin on her face. ‘’Have you always lived in new york?’’ 

‘’Nope, I only moved here when I got residency and a decent enough job. Used to live in Philadelphia with the rest of my family.’’ Charlotte explains, and Cordelia had not expected that. It felt like Charlotte knew this city well enough to have lived here her whole life, but she supposes you learn to adapt pretty quickly. ‘’What kind of shoes do you like?’’

‘’That's an odd question-- I mean I kind of like all shoes? Maybe not the really high heels.’’ Cordelia shrugs at the question, wrinkling her nose and sitting down next to Charlotte now that she was done with putting everything into place. ‘’Do you believe in aliens?’’ Cordelia asks, and Charlotte instantly laughs at that one, making Cordelia crack up as well.

‘’That’s hard, I mean the universe is huge, and I don’t even know what to believe anymore.’’ Charlotte answers truthfully, taking a moment to take another bite of her lasagna. Cordelia opens up her own take out dinner, picking up the fork to take a bite of her food as well. ‘’Why do you and your roommate have the same last name?’’ 

Her world seemed to stop for a moment, and Cordelia could feel a weight being instantly pressed down on her.

‘’What?’’

Charlotte looks at Cordelia, though Cordelia kept her eyes focused on the plate. ‘’Your last name is the same as Whizzer’s--’’ 

‘’How do you know that?’’ Cordelia interrupts, her shoulders tensing up as she slowly places her fork down. She didn’t dare to look at her right now, and all that she wanted to do was run away from this conversation.

‘’He told me a while ago, when I first met him.’’ Charlotte states, her voice slightly strained, and only then did Cordelia look up and meet the brunettes expecting eyes. She couldn’t wash away that cordial look that Charlotte was giving her, one that Cordelia felt like she didn’t deserve at this moment, neither would she ever if she kept up her facade. 

‘’What do you want me to say?’’

‘’I don't know, how about you tell me the truth?’’ She says back, stating the obvious that they had both been thinking about. But Cordelia couldn’t do that. She had never been honest about who she truly was, and there was always a wall between her and the people around her, other than Whizzer. Charlotte was a new addition, but she didn’t want her there, not when it could potentially damage what they have. What they have is perfect right now. 

‘’It’s hard to be honest with you.’’ Cordelia let that slip out, and she could only feel that she was making the situation much worse by how uptight she was being. Her eyes widened as Charlotte took obvious offense to what she had said, and a flicker of hurt was evident in her eyes. ‘’Why are you cornering me like this?’’ Cordelia asks, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes at Charlotte. She may have started this conversation, made it worse, and was now only adding insult to the wound. 

‘’I’m just asking you about your last name.’’ Charlotte argues back, face starting to twist into a confused frown, as though she didn’t know what it entailed. Well, she  _ didn’t  _ know, but Cordelia figured she was smart enough to make some connection by now. ‘’Why are you getting so defensive about something so small?’’ 

Cordelia gets up from the stool, about to burst at how arrogant Charlotte was being, but she holds it in since she knows she was being unfair. Charlotte had only asked about her last name after all… Maybe Cordelia was overreacting, though that thought gets pushed down as she thinks once more about the consequences that would happen if she told her about her marriage. 

She had to go.

Charlotte seemed to immediately sense what Cordelia was planning in her head, getting up as well though late enough as Cordelia came to a decision.

‘’We- we have to break up.’’ Cordelia says, her eyes widening at her own words. That was not what she had wanted to say, neither had she even thought about it, but it seemed so clear once she said it outloud. She wouldn’t have to be confronted about this anymore, and her feelings wouldn't matter when she was free from  _ those  _ questions. Charlotte had a similar reaction, and her mouth was left agape for a moment as she was stunned silent.

‘’We- what?’’ She asks, her voice trembling slightly, and it was the first time Cordelia had ever witnessed her speechless in this way. She hated it.    


‘’I- I’m sorry.’’ She swallows, walking by her quickly and picking up her purse on the kitchen counter, with Charlotte following her a second later. 

‘’Cordelia--’’ Charlotte interferes, her hands grazing her shoulder to stop her, and that was the breaking point for Cordelia. The moment she felt Charlotte’s hand, it was pushed away in a motion that made Cordelia even more frustrated with herself. Charlotte was still, her eyes large as she took a deep breath, possibly to regain her patience, though Cordelia knew there shouldn’t be any left for her at this point.

Even with that knowledge, Charlotte still remained calm. 

‘’Cordelia, what’s going on?’’ Charlotte asks her, using that gentle yet strong voice of hers as her hand reaches for Cordelia’s. She was concerned, her entire face twisted into an anxious grimace, and the blonde felt all the worse about this. 

Had Cordelia been in the moment, she would have immediately leaned into Charlotte and told her something, or maybe everything, but she pulled away again. Her mind wasn’t in the present, and she couldn’t see a proper way out of the haziness that was consuming her. Her back was suddenly against the front door, surprising her since she doesn’t remember being so close to leaving, but it was better this way. 

She was good at running away.

‘’I’m sorry.’’

* * *

Cursing under his breath, Whizzer drummed his fingers anxiously against the wood of the bar, his eyes focusing on the bubbles in his soft drink that were slowly rising to the top. He bites the inside of his cheek, unable to even give the slightest of glance at the bartender who hands him his second drink. 

He sat at the bar, nursing a cold glass of something light that he hadn’t even ordered, though was much needed after the horrendous evening. He hadn’t known what to expect from today's meeting with Marvin, though he knew that he would find himself here more often than before. It was getting more aggravating to deal with him, and the more he talked about their situation and got dismissed by that arrogant lawyer, the more he wanted to just move out of the country and leave this shit hole behind. 

Though he definitely couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t do that,  _ for Cordelia. _

However, even that thought was starting to fleet. 

Whizzer glances down at his shirt, pursing his lips as he even dared to think that. They were in this for the long run, and it had practically always been just the two of them. He couldn’t abandon the only person who actually believed in him, neither would he let his selfish needs get between them.

He only hoped and prayed to the god his parents had forced him to believe in that this wouldn’t end up biting them in the ass, since they both just wished for that peace in their lives. 

More people walked into the bar, and he batted an eye at the men coming in from a smoke. The bar, the only gay bar in new york city that wasn’t currently being harrassed into closing, had more patrients than he had expected on a normal weekday, making the place more crowded and the music a few notches higher than usual. 

Glancing up, he turns and leans his back against the main counter, his eyes trailing around in search of something fun to do, perhaps a rich guy to play around with . It was easy to spot who had more money than the other, and the trick was to usually look at their shoes. 

The shinier, the better. 

His eyes scan the dirty floor, an unimpressed look on his face as he couldn’t find anything remotely of value, as usually on an uneventful night like this, and he sighs and goes back into looking at his drink. He had the whole night for himself, yet he couldn’t bring himself up to anyone in this bar just for a quickie to loosen his mind. 

His eyes fly up from the floor as he suddenly hears a familiar voice walk past him, and he gets a strange waft of that cologne he recognized from miles away. 

No way. 

He instantly recognized that face, and his eyes widened in surprise as he had not expected to see him a second time today. Or at a place like this. 

He couldn’t drag his eyes away, and at this point he was pretty sure he was dreaming. The man had a wife, and a child, yet he was here at a gay bar in company with someone Whizzer recognized as one of the usuals. In all of his years coming here, he had never once seen him show his face here. 

Marvin Grayson, how dare he be here and expect not to get absolutely ruined. 

He places his glass down, slightly harsher than he had originally intended to, and follows subtly behind the two men. He was almost positive that they were heading to the dance floor, until Marvin grabs the other guy's arm and leads him to the backdoor for emergencies.

Whizzer waits a few minutes, three to be exact, before taking that as his cue and following out through the door. On his way out, he asks for a cigarette and a lighter to borrow from one of the junkies standing by the door. He knows they have more than enough to share, and he thanks them quickly before exiting as well. Now he at least had a reason to be out here other than following them. 

Letting out a breath as humid air hits him due to the ventilation system outside of the bar, he turns and searches for the two men in question, though finds them nowhere close. He lights the cigarette, blowing out smoke in resignation as he believes that he had lost them, before he hears a slight thud coming from the corner on his right. 

Eyes turning immediately towards that direction, he takes a few steps closer, and once he was close enough to peek through the corner, he does exactly so.

With the little amount of movement he managed to pull through during his initial shock, he pulled himself away and pressed his back against the wall. Just a corner away from him stood Marvin, pressed against a guy that was most certainly not his wife, and they were going at it. . 

As much as Whizzer hated him, he was also surprised by the way Marvin seemed so familiar with the movements he was doing, meaning that this was not a first occasion and had most certainly happened before. Whizzer swallows and throws down the cigarette, stepping on it to blow it out, and then walks hastily back into the bar. 

He had a plan in mind, and he was going to win this round for the first time in his life. 

Grabbing his bag from behind the bar where he was allowed to keep it, he looks through the contents of it until he stumbles upon his beat up camera, though it would do the job perfectly. He places the bag on his shoulder and turns towards the small security office, where they held the monitors for the cameras inside and outside the bar. 

The one good thing about homophobes pestering this bar was the security equipment this bar held. It was rather expensive, meaning that if there was a camera near the alley where Marvin stood, it would be clear what was going on. Distracting the worker who stood by the security door wouldn’t be hard either, since there was always an old trick in the book he could use to make them leave for a few minutes. 

Whizzer walks over to the door, grabbing a discarded shot on one of the stand alone tables and drinking it down before coming face to face with the worker in the way. 

‘’Hey, haven’t I seen you before?’’ Whizzer asks him, raising an eyebrow suavely and flashing him a charming smile. He places the shot gently to his side, teh alcohol barely having an effect on him since it was only his first shot of the night. 

‘’I work here, so that wouldn’t be a surprise if you’re a regular.’’ 

‘’Ah, well then thank god I found you.’’ Whizzer leans closer to him, his hands going to his cheek as he presses his lips close to his ears. ‘’Somebody puked in the gentlemens bathroom.’’ He whispers over the loud music, smiling brightly as he sees the guards face drop, then rolls his eyes as he gets up from sitting by the door. 

That usually did the trick.

He looked around for a moment, making sure that nobody had their eyes on him for too long, before opening the door. He was more than relieved to find it unlocked, since it rarely was locked and was often used as a getaway for many when they wanted to have fun. He does however lock the door behind him, not wanting to be disturbed in any way as he was in progress of taking photos. 

Sure enough, there they still stood, or now one was now kneeling. He scrunched his nose in disgust, though he was glad that it was still visible who they were. He focuses his camera on the monitor, capturing three photos in case of damage, then feels content enough with his work. This would be perfect to use in the future. 

Marvin had something coming for him. Something he most certainly deserved.

He was at their apartment within minutes, having driven home immediately after having gotten the photos of the security footage, and he hurriedly needed to export them onto paper. 

Whizzer quickly shoves off his shoes, going into the kitchen to grab a bottle of beer from the fridge, when he realizes that he isn't currently home alone. The light was on, and by the kitchen table sat Cordelia, with her head planted against the firm wood and her arms splayed to her side. 

He pauses his movements, standing still for a minute to see if Cordelia was going to look up and greet him. Once she doesn’t and a considerable amount of time has passed, he sighs. ‘’Weren’t you supposed to spend the night with--’’ He starts awkwardly, still surprised, and places his bag down next to the kitchen table. Cordelia finally looks up, and she immediately purses her lips and looks away, 

‘’I broke up with her.’’ He blinks, his eyes widening since he had never predicted this happening out of nowhere. His brows furrowed and he walked to sit in the chair her, carefully watching her to see if she was going to elaborate or try to keep it vague. 

‘’Did something happen--’’

‘’She asked about my last name.’’ She says, finally looking at him. He raises his eyebrows, slightly confused as to why this had caused a break up. The blonde groans and points a finger at him accusingly. “She asked about  _ you _ .” She continues, her voice slightly bitter.

‘’Oh--’’ Whizzer lets out, cringing as he remembers his unfortunate first meeting with her girlfriend.  _ Oh. _ He had told her his last name, when introducing himself.  _ Oh. _ ‘’That’s it?’’ He asks her, furrowing his brows as he notes how ridiculous this still was, and she throws her hands down.

‘’What do you mean ‘’that’s it’’? This is really bad!’’ She exclaims, staring at him in disbelief as he shrugs. 

‘’Is it bad or are you just overreacting?’’ Whizzer responds back, and Cordelia lets out a frustrated groan and plops her head back down on the table, turning her head away from him as well. Whizzer sucks in a breath through his teeth, understanding her panic and needing to calm her down before she starts spiraling. ‘’People can have the same last name, Cori.’’ He tells her, then tilts her head. ‘’Besides, don’t you trust her enough to tell her about all of  _ this _ ?’’ he gestures around them, instead of stating what he meant. He knows that Cordelia still understands what he was implying

‘’You barely trust our  _ lawyer _ with all of  _ this _ !’’ She throws back at him, and he rolls his eyes. That was different… even if he should be more open about all of this to the person who had their backs in court. He sighs and looks away for a second, pursing his lips as he thinks about the layer of truth in her comeback. Now was definitely not the time to think about all of this shit, since there was a current problem at hand. 

Besides, now that he had those photos, he knew that he could be more open. It's not like Marvin would be able to say much against him when he was in possession of something this dangerous. 

‘’What do you see is the biggest problem right now?’’ Whizzer asks her, raising an eyebrow.

‘’No one has cared enough to ask me about it before, and that’s frustrating, but it feels like it’s better that way!’’ Cordelia mumbles out, and Whizzer immediately knows that she is lying. Her voice was far too distant, and a note higher than usual, which was her telltale sign.

‘’How the hell can you say that when you’ve been actively searching for that one good thing in your life?’’ Whizzer confronts her, and she stays silent with a pout for a few seconds. He had never seen her this stubborn before, and she looked like she was ready to fight more, until she looked down and her pout drops. 

‘’Well I don’t know what to do!’’ Cordelia lets out, wrinkling her face up. Whizzer recognized that look, since it was something she often did when she was trying to repress any tears or extra emotions from leaking out. ‘’And now it’s too late, and she probably hates the fuck out of me because I just did that on her birthday of all days, and oh god…’’ Her voice hitches, and she covers her eyes with her hands. ‘’This is such a huge mess and I fucked it all up.’’ 

He opens his mouth to comment about her attitude, ready to scold her for thinking so negatively, but he stops when he knows that it wasn’t what would make Cordelia calmer at this moment. He would never want to stress her out, especially when her mind was spiraling, though he has never been good at comforting either. They both would usually sweep it under the mat and forget about it for ages until it simply didn’t matter any more. That was how they functioned.

Though now, he could sense that Cordelia was in distress and wanted to do something about it, though she was letting her mind eat at her instead of doing anything about it. 

‘’From what i’ve heard, and kind of seen, you have it really bad for one another.’’ Whizzer starts awkwardly, rubbing her shoulders slightly to comfort her. ‘You should try. Go back tomorrow and properly apologize, tell her what you feel or whatever—‘’ Whizzer winces as he realizes that he didn’t know what to actually say to her and was just reciting something he had possibly read in a book, ‘’— And maybe be honest with yourself.’’ He adds, and Cordelia silently nods. 

She continues staring down, her fingers nervously fiddling with one another now as she had dropped them in the midst of his poor motivational speech, until she looks up at him.

‘’What if it doesn’t work out?’’ 

Whizzer doesn’t dare to answer that, since he knew nothing about who Charlotte actually was or the probabilities of this ending in a good way, so he stays silent until Cordelia looks away again.

‘’Thanks Whizzer.’’ 

‘’No problem, Cori.’’

* * *

Feeling a large sense of deja vu wash over her, Cordelia stood tense at the door of her now ex girlfriends house. Well, that would hopefully be changing in a few minutes… She shakes her head, taking a moment to collect her breath. She was going to knock on the door, and then she was going to come face to face with the woman that had made her the happiest she had been in her life. And she was also going to hopefully mend their relationship, that she desperately wanted back. 

She looks down at her shoes, nods to herself, then knocks on the door. This is possibly the first time she was dreading for Charlotte to answer the door, since she knows that Charlotte wasn’t going to react in the best way. 

The door opens, and She knows that Charlotte had seen her through the peephole which was why it took her a beat longer to answer than usual. Since it was in fact nearing night time, because Cordelia was unsure of when Charlotte got out of work, it was no surprise that Charlotte was fresh out of the shower and wearing Cordelia’s favorite deep purple bathrobe. Though, Cordelia couldn’t focus much on that right now, because Charlotte was leaning against the door frame, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes at Cordelia. 

‘’Did you forget something?’’ 

Despite the attempted cold tone, the obviously upset look on her face and the all around angry energy that was radiating from Charlotte, Cordelia couldn’t help but be relieved that her reaction didn’t go beyond that. She still hated it, and she was here to fix it. 

She wasn’t going to lose the first good thing that she had been able to have for herself. 

‘’Listen, Charlotte, I didn’t mean to—‘’ 

‘’I don’t want to hear it-- whatever excuse you have for your behaviour.’’ Charlotte stops her instantly, raising a hand to motion for her to stop. Cordelia shuts up for a moment, though her brows furrow. She was far too determined to let go of her now.

‘’No, this isn’t an--’’

‘’Sounds like one to me, Cordelia.’’ She interrupts her again, and the usage of her first name makes Cordelia immediately pipe down. Her voice was disgruntled, and her eyes spoke a thousands of stories as they glanced away from the blonde. ‘’I can’t deal with this right now--’’

‘’Charlotte, I was being stupid!’’ Cordelia yells, this time being the one to interrupt the other, and her voice silenced them both as it echoed through the apartment complex. Their eyes meet again, the panicked and tense look meeting a detached and cold one. Despite that, Cordelia still swallows the lump in her throat and stands straighter, the determined fire coming back as she notices Charlotte’s interest.‘’Could I please come in? I don’t want to wake up your neighbors.’’

‘’...Fine.’’ Charlotte begrudgingly agrees, turning around for Cordelia to go in through the door. She simply leaves her there, walking to the living room as Cordelia quickly unties her shoes to go in after her. It certainly felt like she was running in a timer, and that any minute now it would end and their relationship would officially be over. 

She walks into the living room, looking at Charlotte for a moment and questioning whether or not she should sit down, before Charlotte gestures for her to do so. It was a few inches further away than usual, and she supposes that she deserves that after the horrendous evening yesterday. The doctor is silent though, looking at Cordelia expectantly, and she supposes that this was her cue to speak. 

‘’Yesterday was messed up… And I know that it was my fault, and I am sorry about it all--’’ Cordelia says, though she stops mid sentence once she notices that Charlotte looks away from her. 

‘’I got overwhelmed. This is like my first relationship that… That I really like, and that’s scary! Because I don’t know how to act, or how to be open about  _ things _ and it’s all just a big question mark for me--’’ She starts again, much more honest and fiddling with her fingers anxiously once she doesn’t get a response from Charlotte immediately. It had barely even gone five seconds, so she doesn’t know why she was so stressed just now. Either way, the silence was killing her and she needed to continue. ‘’And that’s not an excuse for how I treated you, or how I just left and completely ruined your birthday, cause that was awful from me and I am so sorry about that.’’ she rambles on, finally gathering the courage to look up at Charlotte again.

Her face was neutral, almost unreadable, and Cordelia felt as though this was officially over.

‘’I was being stupid-’’

‘’Definitely.’’

‘’And this whole situation is dumb-’’

‘’Couldn’t agree more.’’

‘’And I ruined everything between us.’’ She says, clenching her eyes shut and waiting for the confirmation.

‘’... Not entirely.’’ Her eyes immediately open, and she looks at Charlotte. The brunette wore a slight smile on her face now, though it was slightly strained with a slight sadness to it. 

‘’R-really?’’ Cordelia chokes out, her throat dry as she hoped that this wouldn’t be some sort of sick joke.

‘’Yeah…’’ Charlotte sighs, nodding gently as her small smile drops down and a melancholy fog dimms her eyes. ‘’It did however hurt, especially when you said that you can’t be honest with me.’’

‘’I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just hard to be honest about something i’ve been lying about for so long…’’

‘’I understand, I really do, and I am sorry about pushing you into that conversation.’’ Charlotte says, sighing slightly and looking down at the ribbon of her robe. ‘’It’s just… I don’t want to be in a cagey relationship again.’’ Cordelia’s head perks up at that, interested in knowing more about that, though she stays silent because Charlotte wasn’t done speaking. ‘’I want us both to be able to confess, and just  _ talk _ . Nothing in between us that makes us strangers.’’ she finishes, looking back up at Cordelia who nods frantically. 

‘’I'll do better--’’

‘’No, Cordelia.’’ Charlotte stops her, and Cordelia is confused and slightly terrified to know what the reason was. ‘’We’ll both do better.’’ She tells her softly, making Cordelia finally break the dam and tear up. She supposed that this was more than enough confirmation that they weren’t splitting up. 

Her tears were already falling, and she doesn’t know what she could do right now, but all she wanted was to hug Charlotte and never let go. She looked at her with large eyes, silently asking for approval, which she gets a moment after. In less than a few seconds, Cordelia found herself in the familiar warmth of her lover as she grasps on tightly to her robe, her face smushed down on her shoulder. 

‘’I missed you.’’ Cordelia whispers, her tears staining the robe as a new wave hit her, this time one full of all the sorrow she had felt the past 24 hours. 

‘’I missed you too.’’ Charlotte responds, her voice breaking as her arms tighten around the blonde. 

They stayed like that for some time, unable to move away from each other as the minutes passed, and Cordelia was pretty sure that at this point she was going to fall asleep. The soothing motion of Charlotte lightly rubbing her back, and the smell of Charlotte’s freshly dried hair, was more of a serenity than she had expected, and she would love it if they were allowed to be like everyday. Though her legs were starting to feel numb, and she felt as though she was suffocating Charlotte by how hard her grip was, so as all things have to do, she needed to make it come to an end. 

Cordelia lets out a slight whine as she moves her legs, feeling a thousand needles puncturing it as she awkwardly moves away, and Charlotte let out a slight chuckle and rubbed her legs for her as she settled back next to her, this time with their sides touching. 

Finally looking away from Charlotte the first time this evening, and placing her focus on something else, she notices a very familiar wrapping on the coffee table. It was her gift, that she had completely forgotten about, just there on the table completely untouched. 

‘’You didn’t open your gift?’’ Cordelia states, shocked to even see it sitting there. She had possibly also expected it to be thrown away, though it didn’t seem like something Charlotte would do. 

‘’I couldn’t bring myself to touch it.’’ Charlotte responds truthfully, shrugging slightly as she also looks at it. Cordelia bites her lower lip, then turns to Charlotte. 

‘’Do you want to open it now?’’ She asks her, and Charlotte waits a moment before nodding slowly. Cordelia reaches over to grab the small box, then shifts her body to Charlotte’s as she hands her the gift. ‘’Happy birthday, Charlotte.’’ she whispers awkwardly with a large smile. 

She urges Charlotte to take the gift, and the brunette slowly does so. It was almost intense when Charlotte was so slowly opening up the gift, carefully tearing the wrapper and letting out a slight gasp once she sees the outside of the box. She gives Cordelia an unsure glance, and Cordelia gestures for her to continue. 

The box is gently opened, and Charlotte’s eyes widen as she sees the earrings inside. ‘’Oh… Honey--’’ She says, a slightly wondrous smile spreading on her face as she picks up an earring and brushes a thumb over the smooth and heavy material. 

‘’Try them on!’’ Cordelia says with a wide smile, taking this as a good sign since there was no clear displeasure on Charlotte’s face. It was very obvious when Charlotte disliked something, so this could only mean good things. 

Staring at Charlotte as she moves her hair from her ear to wear the earring makes Cordelia’s breath hitch, since it was finally the moment of truth to see if Charlotte ended up liking her gift or not. The few seconds where Cordelia was just waiting for some sort of reaction as the earrings were put on makes her slightly nervous, though she looked absolutely gorgeous with them on. 

‘’What do you think?’’ Charlotte asks her, grinning slightly as she tilts her head to show one of the earrings. Cordelia watches them carefully, the dim light from the table lamps making it slightly glimmer, and her shoulders soften up entirely as her eyes wander back to meet hers. 

‘’You look really beautiful.’’ She breathes out, looking right at her. Charlotte smiles gingerly at Cordelia, looking away for a second with a slight chuckle. 

‘’You’re probably the only women who can break up with me then give me a gift like this.’’ Charlotte says, making Cordelia giggle, though she was still looking at how well the silver seemed to fit with her hair and eyes. Once she snaps out of it, she catches Charlotte staring right back at with an amused smile. 

Charlotte leans in, placing a soft kiss on her nose, then sighs and leans her forehead against Cordelia’s. The blonde shuffles closer again, until she is practically sitting on her lap, and Charlotte wiggles slightly on the couch so that they could lie more properly on it. 

Cordelia lets her hands wander up to her girlfriends cheeks, gently stroking them with a faint smile, and Charlotte lets out a slight humm and shifts them closer. With their legs tangled together, it felt just like it had earlier when they were hugging, though this time it was far less desperate, and far more tender. 

‘’I should head home.’’ Cordelia says after a few minutes, her eyes close as she enjoys the soft fingers that were treading through her hair. Charlotte lets out a slight grunt, frowning.

‘’Or… You could actually stay the night?’’ Charlotte slyly suggests, a wolfish grin on her face as she winks. Cordelia blushes at her implications, then very lightly shoves Charlotte away from her on the couch. The doctor doesn’t go far, she doesn’t go anywhere really since she was underneath her, but her head does lean back a bit. ‘’I’m serious, Dee.’’ 

‘’But you have work in the morning?’’ Cordelia states, raising an eyebrow at how that could work out. 

‘‘I can give you a key so you can lock up when you’re done, and you should actually keep it.’’

Cordelia blinks in surprise, her eyes wide when she realizes how much this often means in a relationship. ‘’You can’t just give me a key, Char.’’ she laughs nervously, leaning up on her elbows.

‘’Why not? I trust you.’’

Cordelia blinks in amazement at how easy she makes it sound, even though she should be the rational one who thinks through her actions. Perhaps she was being rational, and Cordelia was overthinking this interaction, though she was never quite sure without needing proper affirmation. 

When the blonde is unable to respond, Charlotte urges on the thought. ‘’You can borrow some of my clothes, shower if you want and lock up when you go home.’’

Cordelia purses her lips in thought, trying to think if this was a smart decision or not, then decides to simply screw it. ‘’What if I decided to camp here all day?’’ She tests, making Charlotte chuckle and pinch her cheeks playfully. 

‘’Then I guess I’ll bring something to eat on the way home. And you’re allowed to raid my pantry.’’ She offers, and Cordelia looks at her in shock, not knowing how to properly respond to that one. SO this was actually happening. 

‘’You… You really trust me not to like-’’

‘’What are you going to do? Steal my fridge?’’ Charlotte asks ridiculously, making the blonde laugh and shake her head. She quiets down a moment later, thinking about what Charlotte had just said and it making her realize how much faith Charlotte seemed to have for her. She hadn’t felt like this before, and she didn’t want to lose touch of this feeling. 

‘’Just… Thank you for trusting me… Even if I couldn’t tell you anything.’’ She says, her voice small, and Charlotte nods nonetheless and gives her a soft smile. 

‘’Trust works in weird ways, as does love.’’ Charlotte mumbles quietly, and Cordelia didn’t want to know what that could mean at the moment. She simply closed her eyes and let herself fall asleep in the comfort of her lovers arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> October 1974


End file.
